This Nosferatu Vampire Bust pays tribute to the 1922 film depiction of the vampire Count Orlok. If you get this thing you will have a lovely bust. I’m not saying you don’t have one already, but nothing beats a big Vampire bust. Spoiler alert: I’m talking about boobs. I’ve seen my share of Vampire ladies so I think I know what I’m talking about. Vampire busts are the best. Way better than Werewolf boobs. Just sayin’.
That reminds me. How do you kill a busty Werewolf? A silver bullet…bra.
This Gargoyle Engagement Ring features two Gargoyles resting by the roof of a building. You know how you make a Gargoyle? Get engaged. Get cold feet. Then get on the roof and prepare to jump. And since you suck at that too, just sit there for eternity. That’s how you create a Gargoyle.
Yeah, but how do then turn to stone then? Explain that.
The wife shows up below and looks at him.
Huh?
They were about to marry Medusa.
Wow.
Yeah, she has been left at the alter soooooo many times. She’s pretty bitter about it.
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Give me a shot bartender! I just seen something that scared me senseless and I can’t stop shaking. *Looks around me all nervous. Bartender pours the drink. Sets it in front of me, using a glass from this Set of 4 Minimalist Scary Movie Mask Shot Glasses. I shriek like a banshee.*
Why you screaming?
Because that’s what I saw. The face on the glass! The scream ghost guy!
*He pours another. I scream like Justin Bieber faced with an actual woman.*
What’s your problem now bud?
Tha- That rabbit face on the glass. He was with the scream ghost guy.
*Pours another. I scream.*
What the hell? I gave you a blank glass this time.
*Wipes the glass until it’s clear.* Oh thank god. That smudge mark looked like my ex-wife!
Looking for a case for your iPhone 6 Plus or iPhone 6s Plus? Well, you found it and it’s looking at you too. Your iPhone is now an eyePhone. The Tortured Eyes iPhone 6 Plus / iPhone 6s Plus Case is a real eye opener. They’ll watch you, you’ll watch them, before you know it you’ll have a crazy staring contest. The winner gets your soul. It won’t be you cuz it’s impossible to win a staring contest against that many eyes. You have to study for years and be a good pupil to win a contest like that.
Enjoy your many adventures with this case. Whatever you do, don’t answer the phone until you see the whites of their eyes.
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Remember that Eraserhead Baby Figure? Yeah, somebody made a cake. Debbiedoescakes made this abomination. I wonder what it tasted like. Does it erase your taste buds? I’m kind of sad I didn’t get a slice. It was probably made for some freaky wedding or something. If that’s the case, you might say that this is the David Lynch-pin in their relationship.
Maybe it was made for a baby shower for a real ugly baby. If I had an eraserhead, I’d be writing in pencil and correcting all kinds of grammar. C’mere you little freak! *Rubs his head against the paper until there’s nothing but a nub left.*
via Dangerous Minds