Keep your toe tentacles warm and cozy with these H.P. Lovecraft Cthulhu Socks. They are frightfully fashionable and creepily couture. You’re walking with an elder god now. How does that feel? Surprisingly soft? I thought so. My feet are also hearing the call of Cthulhu, so maybe I’ll give them a try. Just call me H.P. Love-Comfort. I also go by H.P. Love-Pizza and H.P. Love French Fries.
Tag: horror
Hand Made Stone Skull Dice
It’s time to roll them bones with these Hand Made Stone Skull Dice. Forget rolling snake eyes. I’m rolling skull eyes from now on. You play with these dice and heads (skulls) are gonna roll. They were sculpted and cast by hand in case you were wondering. They weren’t carved from the skulls of tiny square-headed people.
Legend has it that when you play with these dice and have somebody blow on your dice for luck, you can feel their breath on your own skull. Oh wait, that’s not right. That was just that guy standing way too close behind me. Back up dude! I can smell what you ate for breakfast! Smells like bacon and pancakes and despair. Seriously, back up. Your hot stinky breath made my dice into sad skull faces.
Skull Doorknob
Wait! Don’t open that door. We don’t go in there. We just don’t. We don’t even talk about going in there, so shut your face. No one enters the room of the crystal skull. Why do you think we have that cool ass Skull Doorknob to warn people? It lights up too, but don’t touch it. Okay, whatever, your funeral!
*Door opens*
*All of my creepy collectibles fall out in a huge pile.* I told you not to. You just had to do it. Now you have to clean it all up. I usually push it in with a broom while someone else pushes the door.
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Coffin Shelf With Hand Carved Spider Web Sides
What happens if you put an “elf on the shelf” on a Coffin Shelf? You get a dead elf on a shelf. But that’s beside the point. This Coffin Shelf With Hand Carved Spider Web Sides is great for your haunted horror home decor. I’m putting things on it that I want to take with me when I die. If it’s on the shelf, everybody knows I get buried with it. Right now I have a few bags of M & M s and some Kit-Kats on the top shelf. Basically, I’m buying two so they can just throw me in, slap them both together and I’ll have all my stuff. You gotta think ahead.
August Body Mirror With Skull
This August Body Mirror With Skull is a tall mirror. Why you can only use it in August, I have no idea. But I’m a rebel. A rule breaker. I will use the s**t out of this mirror in July! Maybe in June too. What do you think about that? BAM! That’s what’s up!
If you like skull decor, this mirror will make sure that there’s always a skull looking at you while you ask if you are too fat. And compared to him you will be. He’s all bones. *sigh* I need positive reinforcement. I also need some waist reinforcement. Time for a new belt! I think I’m gonna need a wider mirror too.