Tag: jesus

Cheesus Christ Cheese Grater

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cheesus grater
Cheesus, please deliver unto me a cheese grater worthy of your name and bearing thine image and I will grate the hell out of cheese in your name. P.S. I really love cheese Cheesus. You rock.

I deliver unto you this cheese grater in mine own image my child. It’s grate! Even if I do look like the Mona Lisa. Enjoy my son! Enjoy! Wait…you’re the Creepbay guy. Let’s see. I have you down for chronic masturbation and with the IQ of a wet paper bag. Not my best work. I have read the blog. You have much to answer for my son. Did you just fart? Who does that in my presence? I give up. You all suck! Keep the grater. I’m out. *poof*

Heh. Love scoring free stuff from Cheesus. Too easy. *Looks in mirror and screams* My chin! I mean…my balls! Noooooooooooooo!
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Jesus With Wings Night Light

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jesus night lightHoly Lord and creepy savior! Let this Jesus night light protect you from all manner of boogeymen, ghosts and demons, who prowl the night. He will scare the hell out of them literally. Look at him all lit up, flapping his dragon wings while he rips his shirt off Superman style.

Who ya gonna call? Jesus. He is the original Ghostbuster!

More shots below.
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I Like My AC With JC: Jesus Face In Rusty Air Conditioner

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Jesus face on air conditionerFind Jesus for $100. Can you spot him? Spoiler alert: It’s a lot simpler than that Where’s Waldo game, which I have yet to master. He’s right there! Using his Son of God powers to chill your air.

What Would Jesus Do? For a start, he would clean that yard. Maybe plant some flowers. Just because you found Jesus, that doesn’t mean that your neighbors want to look at a bunch of trash. Jesus may turn the other cheek, but not me. I expect an orderly yard if I’m going to make the pilgrimage all the way out to redneck-Nazareth to worship JC on the AC.

Say, if I buy this thing, can I get that weed whacker for $5?

More pics below.
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Newly Hatched Baby Raptor Jesus Egg

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Baby Raptor JesusHey, if they say it’s baby Jesus hatching out of an egg, who am I to argue? I am ready to worship you, my fetus bodied, raptor headed god, sitting on your eggshell throne. How may I serve?

Yes master. *buzz* I shall get the DNA of your raptor relatives and clone them at once. *buzz* You shall have a mighty army. Just as soon as I get this fly. There he is my lord. On your nose. *Crack/squish* Oh s**t. Can you hear me raptor Jesus? No? Damn.

Psst.

What do you want Satan Clamcake? *hold out your hand boy* Okay. Sweet. Thanks for the thirty pieces of silver. Is this enough to buy a PS4?
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Jesus And Mary As Batman And Robin

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Batman and Robin Virgin Mary and JesusLooks like Jesus and Mary like the old cosplay. Mary looks pretty sexy as Batman, but Jesus as Robin just looks like Weird Al Yankovic. This dynamic duo is hand painted and only $150. from Etsy seller mdinovo, who sells a bunch of statues that have been given a comic book or pop culture makeover.

Click through to see a Virgin Mary Darth Maul and John Rambo Jesus… John Rambo Jesus. Damn that is a sweet name. “I swear to John Rambo Jesus, if you don’t shut up-” “What in the John Rambo Jesus is going on here?”
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