Tag: monster

Weird Skullapillar Mini Puppet

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skullapillar
This Skullapillar mini puppet just wants a hug. And since your body is too big, just give the little guy your finger. Let him squeeze it real tight. Paint a little Skullapiller face on your finger and he might even fall in love. Start smooching your finger as he holds it tight, doing a little slow dance.

Until he BITES YOUR FAKE FINGER FACE OFF because that’s how they mate. What are you crazy? You don’t go sticking your finger anywhere near a Skullapillar! What’s wrong with you? Look at him snacking on your fingertip, with that sex afterglow on his mandible face.
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Mad Science Brain Cap

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Mad Science Brain Cap
Put your thinking cap on. For real. This Mad Science Brain Cap makes it look like Dr. Frankenstein has been hard at work floggin’ your noggin. Technically it’s called the “The prefrontal cortex interference cap”, or PCIC, but that’s too many fancy words in a row for me. I just call it a “head case”, but that’s just me lashing out because that’s what I get called.

Words hurt people. If one more person looks at my fat man gut and asks me if I’m pregnant, Imma pee on ’em and tell ’em my water broke!
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Needle Felted Frankenstein Ornament

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Needle Felted Frankenstein Ornament
This Needle Felted Frankenstein Ornament will look great on your Halloween tree. What, you don’t have a Halloween tree? I have a tree I use all year long. I put eggs on it for Easter, candy for Valentine’s Day and so on. The best is St. Patricks Day when I decorate the tree with beer and pay two red-headed leprechauns to slap-fight each other beneath it.

Anywho, back to Frankenstein. Or Franklin N. Stein. Or Francis Ken Stein. Aliases, monsters have them. Deal with it. Experience the softer side of this monster with your own soft head. Well, his own head.

Chemtrail Carl Latex Halloween Mask

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Chemtrail Carl Latex Halloween Mask
Hey Chemtrail Carl. What up? What’s all the puss? Ha. You know, cuz you have all of those blistery puss sacks on your head. Why ya staring at me with that one big eye? Giving me the stink-eye are ya? Maybe not. I don’t think that stink is coming from your eye. You need a bath dude.

You can be Chemtrail Carl for Halloween this year with this latex Halloween mask. I recommend not bathing for like a month just to be completely authentic. I know cuz I always run into this guy in the 7-11 parking lot.

Sarah Squid Seems Sad

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Sarah Squid Seems Sad
Sarah Squid Seems Sad. Maybe she’s mad, I can’t tell. I’ll say this. She’s well dressed for her period. No, I just mean she’s dressed in period clothing. Not saying it’s that time of the month. Although, judging from that grumpy look… Am I right guys?

*Gets slapped by a suckered tentacle and knocked to the ground.* No, I’m just saying that style is period appropriate, you know- *Smack. Gets face full of squid ink.* Hey that ink is red. You really are- *Smack!* Staying down this time ma’am.
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