Don’t ever trust those leathery alien-like cats. Here’s why. They’re probably vampires like this guy. This Nosfercatu Art Print is scaring the hell out of me. Stop looking at me like I’m a mouse dude. And where did you even get a coat that fits you so well? You put that paw down mister. You stop teasing your claws menacingly in my direction or Nosfercatu isn’t getting any wet food tonight. Yeah, that’s what I thought!
Tag: nosferatu
Nosferatu Vampire Bust
This Nosferatu Vampire Bust pays tribute to the 1922 film depiction of the vampire Count Orlok. If you get this thing you will have a lovely bust. I’m not saying you don’t have one already, but nothing beats a big Vampire bust. Spoiler alert: I’m talking about boobs. I’ve seen my share of Vampire ladies so I think I know what I’m talking about. Vampire busts are the best. Way better than Werewolf boobs. Just sayin’.
That reminds me. How do you kill a busty Werewolf? A silver bullet…bra.
Custom Nosferatu Vampire Tank Dress
Man, Nosferatu gets all the girls. Lucky guy. If I was clinging to that body the way this Nosferatu Vampire Tank Dress is, I’d get slapped. Is it a tank top? Is it a dress? I have no idea, but Nosferatu is on the scene, creeping around that girl’s boobies. Oddly enough I’ve heard the same phrase uttered about me. I have to work on my game. Right now I’m at checkers level, but one day I’m gonna be in the world championships of hitting on pretty women. Mind if I practice? Here are some pick up lines:
If I told you I loved Nosferatu, would you hold him against me?
Mind if I rub his bald head?
You must have turned me into a vampire girl, cuz I’m up all night thinking about you.
I think I need a lot of work.
Horror Movie Coffin Clocks
These Horror Movie Coffin Clocks feature some of our favorite horror movie icons. What time is it? Apparently, time to die. My hat is off to the seller. Making clocks this this isn’t exactly Child’s Play. It can be a real Nightmare on Elm Street, but once they are finished you can look at them and see The Shining. And now I am all out of word play for these clocks. Damn my NyQuil-addled mind.
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Nosferatu Creepin’ Up Your Stairs…Coming To Get You
Oh hell no. Stay away from me Nosferatu. I see your shadow. Because I keep all of the lights on in case you boogeymen come to get me. All full of boogers and probably blowing your nose in some old handkerchief. I’m not scared of you. I’m just exiting the house and standing in the snow because I’m hot. That’s all. Do what you want in there. You own the place now. I’m a lover, not a fighter. I’ll sign the deed over first thing in the morning.
This is actually how I lost my first house, by giving it away to a Nosferatu vinyl decal I forgot was there. I hope he’s happy on his one wall, with no one to scream like a sissy every time I would turn the corner.
So basically what you have here is Nosferatu on vinyl. Great album. Had classics like, The Transylvania Twerk, It’s Raining Blood(Hallelujah), The Nosferatu Shuffle, You Are The Wind Beneath My Bat-Wings and my personal favorite, Your Neck, My Mouth.