Intruder alert! Intruder alert! This scary intruder is peeking around the door to bugger me bum-diddly-um-hole. Or something like that. Whatever this dude is up to, I don’t want any part of that and neither do you. That’s why this is the ultimate prank.
He’s similar to the Scary Tapping Peeper and the Peeping Tom or the Peeping Clown.
Jeepers creepers, that’s a lot of peepers. See, this is why ya gotta keep your peepers peeled. These creepers are always out to get you.
Hey, look. Incredible Hulk shorts. Don’t make me angry. You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry. But that’s okay. I only really get angry when I see bad photoshops of the Hulk. Yeah, I’m pretty pissed right now.
*Eyes turn green. Doubled over in pain. Looks skyward as my insides burn. Muscles bulging.*
HULK SMASH! HULK TRY TO ORDER SHORTS ONLINE. ONLINE NO WORK WITH FIST IN IT! NOW HULK SAD! BECAUSE HULK’S JUNK SWINGING EVERYWHERE! HULK INDECENT!
*Sits down to dinner. Eyes the hot chick across from me. Immediately starts playing footsies and moving my eyebrows.* CHOMP! HOLY HELL! *Screams and puts my bloody stump on the table. Blood shooting everywhere.*
The hot chick smiles and puts both feet on the table, all decked out in their Shark Attack Spiked Wedges, looking proud of herself. She tells me I shouldn’t swim in shark infested waters, but I don’t hear her. I’m passed out from shock and loss of blood.
Read more “Shark Attack Spiked Wedges”
I heard the same thing all the time when I was a kid. “You have a chip on your shoulder kid!” Yeah so? *Turns head and takes a giant bite out of it.* Now I have half a chip on my shoulder. And a bunch of crumbs.
This Chip On Your Shoulder Halloween Costume put a giant chip on your shoulder. Ruffled, because they’re the best. Possibly Lays. If I could lick it I would know for sure.
I would wear this thing to a Halloween party, sigh all night, then go to leave and bump into a girl with some dip on her shoulder. It would be magic. *Dreaming all dreamy-eyed with my chin in my hands.* I hope it’s poison ivy.
Read more “Chip On Your Shoulder Halloween Costume”
It’s that time of year again when horror and candy gathering collide. At least that’s what the guy in the local convenience store said last time I came in. Well, it’s also Halloween time. You, like I, need some cool Halloween shirts. I hope they come in XXL, cuz I’m an Xcellent Xcellent Lover. *Makes phone sign with fingers. Shakes it.* Call me ladies.
Mondo has unveiled a line of holiday horror sweaters. Choose from Michael Myers, Jason Voorhees, and Freddy Krueger. They were designed by Middle of Beyond.
Read more “Horror Themed Halloween / Holiday Sweaters”