Tag: novelty

Crazy Ronald McDonald Up-cycled Vinyl Record & Clock

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ronald mcdonald record clock
WTF? Did I just stumble into the McDonalds-land delivery room? Yes. Yes I did. This is a Ronald McDonald Vinyl Record & Clock. The scene being depicted is of the Clown Prince of GMO delivering what is apparently his own baby, who is already wearing a weird little rope diaper. Also a portal to hell has opened in the upper right, letting in a bunch of eyeball bats.

Raise him right Ronald. Learn from your mistakes with Grimace and the Hamburglar. Mayor McCheese was the only kid that really made something of himself. A Cheeseburger.

Gigantic Alien Monster Sound System

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

alien monster sound system
This Gigantic Alien Monster Sound System has landed on Earth to rock you like a hurricane. Gather around and prepare to be blown away by it’s gigantic speakers. Then prepare to be disappointed, because all he wants to play is coldplay. Hey, that’s some heavy teenage rage shizz where he comes from. It’s not his fault your ears are on your head instead of on your butt-flaps like a normal sentient creature.

This awesome Alien Monster Sound System will cost you $22,706.63 The 63 cents is an awesome tax. Mandatory for something this friggin’ righteous. I’m gonna stand right up in front of him and proclaim that I am ready to rock! Then when the first sound hits the speakers I’m gonna be thrown like 500 feet. Again! Again!
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Monster Neckties

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monster neck tie
It takes a certain kind of weird monster to wear a suit and tie everyday and grovel to the man from behind a desk, while whiling the time away and earning that sweet cheddar. It’s not for me. In fact most days, pants and a shirt isn’t even for me. Oddly enough, footy Pokemon pajamas are for me. Like everyday. Ewww. That smell. But they’re so comfy.

Anyway, if you have to wear a tie everyday, try one of these monster ties from Etsy seller tiestory. I’m gonna wear two at once and make it a Creature Double Feature.
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Pet Paint Will Turn You Into A Real Pug-Casso

Artemis Winterford1 Comment

dog spray paint
Awwww sweet! Pet paint lets you go all graffiti artist on your dog or cat. I’m gonna wear a striped shirt and a beret while painting a renaissance revival fresco on my rottweiler. I have no idea what those words mean. I just heard them on the TV and know I should say them when talking about art. Also, don’t have a rottweiler, but that would be awesome.

Now that I know about this I am gonna paint my cat’s fur so it looks like she’s a gerbil. Then I’m gonna find Richard Gere and scare the bejesus out of him.
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Ouija Board Inspired Invites

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ouija inspired invites
Use these Ouija Board Inspired Invites to invite people to your fancy shindigs. Shindigs… Not sure what that word even means, but it sounds like a Denny’s type restaurant in a one horse town.

*Holds Ouija Board invitation to my head* I sense a stirring in the spirit world. There will be liquor and hors d’Oeuvres. Followed by a nice dinner with expensive champagne. I will stuff pastries into my pockets to take home with me. Yes, spirit says to find the coat room and rummage through pockets for cash and free breath mints.*Comes out of my trance.* That seals it. I’m going! *Moves planchette to YES!*