Tag: novelty

Zombie in a Bottle

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Zombie in a Bottle
Zombie in a Bottle. Sounds like an awesome drink. I’ll buy a whole case. Actually, this is a real zombie figure in a bottle. Carry your zombie friend in your pocket, use him as a necklace, or just set him on your desk and admire his trapped and tormented zombie soul. I’m thinking I can pop the top, give it a rub and make a wish. I would wish for food. Then when nothing happens, I would go to bed, only to wake up later as this zombie is feasting on my flesh like the small flesh-eater it is.

What’s up with that?

You wished for food. nom nom nom.

Yeah, so?

Well, the food is you. nom nom nom.

Back in your glass prison you psycho little-
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Beetlejuice Shrunken Head Guy

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Beetlejuice Shrunken Head Guy
You remember that shrunken head guy from Beetlejuice? Me either. I had my own shrunken head while watching that flick, thanks to the Vodka. Ever drink so much that it pickles your brain and your head feels all shriveled up? Yeah, I felt like this guy looks. Right down to the huge eyeballs, but that’s just cuz I saw a rat. Then I froze like that until somebody else came along and got rid of it. We all cope in our own ways.

Has anyone ever actually tried Beetle Juice? Judging by this guy’s face, I bet it’s sour. Bet he never tried that again! You ever talk with your mouth full while you’re blogging? I do. I said “Beetlejuice”only it sounded like “Fetal Juice”. I was horrified. Then I laughed and almost choked. I’m so lonely. *sigh* At least I can share these special moments with you guys.

Shark Cake and Cupcake Toppers

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Shark Cake and Cupcake Toppers
Sweet! I wish someone had made me some Shark Cake and Cupcake Toppers like this when I was a kid. Since I am having a second childhood that began at 13 and is never-ending, I’m gonna get some for myself. Look at that friggin thing just bursting out of the cake! Bam! Shark’s here! Whatchu gonna do bout it? I’m gonna eat ya with a special 4-harpoon fork I designed myself, that’s what!

*Attaches harpoon fork to string. Loads it up in my air-gun. Pulls trigger. Harpoon impales that shark body DEEP!* Yeah son! That’s how it is!

*Reels him in and the shark falls off the cake, tumbling across the floor on it’s way to me. Picks it up and holds it to my mouth. Looks at the mountain of cat hair and dirt all over it.* Oh, hell no!

*Drops shark to the floor and cries like a two year old*
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Cthulhu Potion Necklaces

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Cthulhu Potion Necklaces
Wear these Cthulhu Potion Necklaces from TheCuriousCogsmith and you will never be without potion. Or tentacles. Is it a love potion? I have no idea. Only one way to find out. *Glog glog glog.* Oh yeah. It’s definitely working, cuz I’m in love with these necklaces. Should everything be going hazy and wavy? Is that eye winking at me from within that flailing tentacle? Uh-oh. Here come the magic little elves riding unicorns. Somebody talk me down. I think I’ve been dosed. Shanghaied. Cthulhu-ed. Oh, there he is now, beyond that shimmering gateway. What does he mean “enjoy the trip?” Later guys. I don’t feel so good.
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Octopus Tentacles Light Switch Covers

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Octopus Tentacles Light Switch Covers
Aceofclay makes some really cool Octopus Tentacles Light Switch Covers. Pfft! Can they reach their tentacles down and turn off the light when I leave the room? *Lights go off.* Damn, I guess they can. Can you turn it back on? It’s not that I’m scared of the dark, I always scream when the lights go off, cuz I’m excited about saving money on my electricity bill.

Okay, I admit it. I’m scared. Can we get the lights back on? It’s not fair when an Octopus bullies a man-pus. C’mon squid it already. I mean quit it. *Lights come on* Much better. Now where was I? Oh yeah, these light switch covers are pretty awesome. Even if they do have a mind of their own.
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