Tag: novelty

Creepy Cool Hobo Nickels

Artemis Winterford1 Comment

Creepy Cool Hobo Nickels
Don’t spend these Creepy Cool Hobo Nickels all in one place. What’s a hobo nickel? I guess it’s what you pay hobos for doing hobo stuff. I’m gonna be a hobo so I can get some of these cool nickels. Gonna ride the rails all day, look all dirty, carry a knapsack and every Friday and go to the hobo payment center where I’m gonna collect all of the nickels. Sweet! People are always calling me a hobo anyway.

That’s not what we call you?

Really? What is that name you guys are always calling me?

You’ll figure it out. Use your rhyming skills.

Well I- Ohhhhhhh. I get it…. Do they have nickels too?
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Donald Trump Weathervane

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Donald Trump Weathervane
Which way is the wind blowing? I don’t know, why don’t you see which way Trump’s toupee is blowing? This $15,000.00 Donald Trump Weathervane will be fun to watch spin around. North, south, east or west. You’re all fired! Now excuse me while I spin my fat face in another direction! Let’s make America fat in the face again!

This thing will make your head spin too.
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Alien Autopsy Game

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Alien Autopsy Game
Alien Autopsy Game. It’s the fun game of poking and prodding an alien lifeform, just like they’ve been doing to you forever. Stick stuff in, wiggle it around. Make them scream and cry. These b**tards deserve it. The box says, “One wrong move and it’s scream will send you running.” One wrong move might also prevent this intergalactic jerkwad from reproducing if you know what I mean! I think you do! It’s the wacky game of alien operation!

First players watch from their own human made UFO, flying high above the alien homeworld. When the alien goes to sleep, just zip right down, beam some light into it’s room and abduct that sucker! Then in your human lab aboard the ship, conduct experiments and operate on that bug-eyed freak! When it’s pain no longer amuses you and makes you giggle like a lunatic, release it back into the wild. But don’t forget to mind-wipe it first!

What do you think little Bobby?

I want to believe, but I need to operate again to be sure!

What about you little Suzie?

I stuck an implant in it’s fat head and spit in it’s spleen!

That’s the spirit kids! Alien Autopsy! Creepbay approved!

Classic Horror Movie Icons As Babies

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Classic Horror Movie Icons As Babies
Have you ever wondered what your favorite Horror movie icons would look like as babies? German artist Pit Hammann came up with baby versions of these famous bad guys in this series of illustrations. Pretty freaky how his mind works, I mean who thinks about these freaks as baby freaks? But whatevs. I approve. These toddlers are terrors. He covers movies like Jaws, Hellraiser, Frankenstein and more. I like Freddy stealing pizza. Nosfera-tot is pretty cute too, but I wouldn’t want to babysit any of these kids. Hit up his website to see more.
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Raptor Skeleton Garden Sculpture

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Raptor Skeleton Garden Sculpture
Sweet! There’s a raptor in my garden! I put in a rib-bone as a seed like 2 months ago and it’s finally growing! Yippee! I can’t wait to take him on long walks and wait for him to go pee-pee on fire-hydrants and scoop up his dino poop. I’m gonna call him Craptor, cuz he craps so much. Wait a minute! Craptor’s not moving! What’s wrong boy? OH NO! CRAPTOR NO!

*Tears* He was so young. Fresh out of the dirt. *Sniff* Oh well. I guess he can just be buried where he’s at. Jk everybody. It’s just an awesome Raptor Skeleton Garden Sculpture. Craptor was never alive. Except in our hearts. He will always be in our hearts.