Tag: odd
Sea Monsters From the Early Modern Period Vintage Poster
Here’s another reason to stay out da sea ya fools! Sea monsters are everywhere. Kinda like that time I ripped open a bag of Sea Monkeys in the public pool. This Sea Monsters From the Early Modern Period Vintage Poster shows you what to look out for on the high seas. They look like a bunch of mutated flabby old men. “Get off my kelp!”
I hope the Aquaman movie is better than this.
Frankenstein and Bride of Frankenstein Bar Stools
So Frankenstein and Bride of Frankenstein walk into a bar… That’s all I got, cuz I was so scared I left. But if you want them to visit your bar, get these cool Frankenstein and Bride of Frankenstein Bar Stools. Even monsters need a place to park their rumps. At least that’s what my wife says every time I enter the room, plop down into the chair and break it into a million pieces.
One chair has Franky’s face and the other features his bride’s face. If you buy these and put them in your home, they WILL come and run up a tab. I’ll come too as long as we have a tab going. I’ll have what he’s having. Even though he’s only having it cuz his wife’s face looks like that. Hey. don’t groan at me Frank, you married her.
Creepy Compact Mirrors
MirrorsByMiMi sells some pretty cool compacts, many of them Creepy Compact Mirrors with Gothic themes. They have spiders, Medusas and skeletons and more. Flip it open and put on your makeup ladies, cuz I know you are all gunning for this stud.
Speaking of guns. *Flexes my arms, raising them above my head. Kisses them. Lowers them all out of breath.* I need more practice before I do that again. I think I threw my back out.
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Cthulhu Priestess: Our Lady of Squid
This Cthulhu Priestess: Our Lady of Squid figure belongs on your altar. I know you have one cuz you worship Cthulhu. Well, now you have another deity to pray to. You know why her religion is taking off so fast? Cuz her church is full of suckers! Get it? Ha ha ha. Suckers. *crying* I really crack myself up. But really, this is Cthulhu’s wife so, it’s legit. I’m pretty sure it is sanctioned by the church and everything.
Our Lady of the Squid,
hallowed be your name.
Your tentacles come,
your will be done,
on earth, as it is in the sea.
Give us this day our daily terror,
and forgive us our non-tentacles arms….
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