Beagle Bonez – Crazy Bonez Skeleton Dog

Beagle Bonez - Crazy Bonez Skeleton Dog
I got chills when I saw this Crazy Bones Skeleton Dog, cuz I thought yet another animal that I buried was coming back from the pet cemetery. I think I’ve had enough. I only have room for so many skeletons in my house and the neighbors are starting to wonder why I take skeleton dogs for long walks. Also, every time the doorbell rings, they all have to freeze and act like they’re supposed to be taxidermy decorations. Once the door closes again and I come back in the room, it’s like a moving mass of bones everywhere. Cat skeletons climbing all over me, dog skeletons sniffing each others bone-holes, turtle skulls going back in their shell, parakeet bones flying around…

It all started with a dog hit by a car and an ancient burial ground. I may have also hired a witch and made a bad deal.
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Toothy Void Necklace

Toothy Void Necklace
Toothy Void Necklace. That’s a great name for this orthodontia oddity. You got teeth with nothing but a void beyond. Not even a tongue. Unless it’s hiding back there in the dark. Kinda creepy. I better french kiss it to be sure. mmmm-aaa-hh-mmmmmm Sorry it took so long. Had to be sure. That thing has tongue alright. Not gonna lie, that was pretty enjoyable. I think we’re engaged now. Unless I’m moving too fast. Do you think I’m mis-reading things? What if she doesn’t feel the same way? What if she was just using me to get her teeth cleaned? I’m so confused.

Coffin Jewelry Box

Coffin Jewelry Box
This Coffin Jewelry Box is the perfect way to bury, I mean store your spooky Gothic jewelry. You can say a eulogy every time you open it up and throw a piece inside, with hand on heart. I would put a creepy doll inside to scare whoever opened it, but that’s just me. It looks good enough for a small body, so it should be good enough for your jewelry.

Horror Movies Rainy Day Activity and Coloring Book

Horror Movies Rainy Day Activity and Coloring Book
What are you gonna do on a rainy day? Just sit around depressed? Well, yeah, duh! But you can also do something else. Like color in this Horror Movies Rainy Day Activity and Coloring Book. I like to drink all night and then try to stay in the lines. Then in the morning I grade my work. Not happy about what I see either. Recently had to call my mom and have a parent teacher conference, too. “He doesn’t apply himself and is way behind the other kids. Is there anything going on at home that we should know about?”

Dragon’s Breath Victorian Ring

Dragon's Breath Victorian Ring
So that’s what Dragon’s Breath looks like. I pictured something more like dirty undies and onions, mixed with fire. Have a mint bro! This Dragon’s Breath Victorian Ring puts the breath of the dragon right on your finger. I think I can see it swirling around in there, along with the souls of everything it recently ate.

Pffft! I capture dragon’s breath every morning when I wake up facing the wife. One tic-tac gently slid into the cheek usually does the trick.
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