Tag: plush

Keep Cozy With Cthulhu: Tentacle Body Pillows

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cthulhu tentacle pillowSleep in the loving gentle embrace of Cthulhu with these tentacle body pillows from Etsy seller Teacupity. There are several variations available. Different colors, different suckers… Just be careful that they don’t pull you down into some dark alternate plain of existence.

Interesting fact: Every woman I’ve ever shared a bed with calls me Cthulhu, cuz I’m all grabby like an ancient terror with eight arms. And by every woman, I mean one woman. And when I say shared a bed, I mean for like 2 seconds at a mattress store. The good news is that they now have my picture on the wall. The bad news is, I’m still sleeping on two cat beds pushed together.

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Crazy Monster Hat With Claw Mittens

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monster hatThis awesome $129. monster hat is just waiting to transform you into a furry three-eyed monster so you can go all om-nom-nom on somebody. It comes with claw mittens so you can go all Wolverine on your prey too.

I have to say, this is the cutest monster I’ve ever seen and I applaud the choice of bra over a furry chest piece. You can hide under my bed any time you want. Just don’t attack while the bed is rocking. Wait 30 seconds when you hear me reach for a kleenex. Otherwise things could get awkward.

What? I have a cold. Been coughing a lot and rocking the bed. These fits usually last about a minute and happen once a night. I’m a sick sick man.
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Crochet Crime Scene: Sid And Nancy “Antigurumi” Amigurumi Set

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sid and nancyEtsy seller croshame was inspired to create a crocheted portrait of the horrific events that alledgedly occurred in the Chelsea Hotel on October 12. 1978, where Sid Vicious was accused of killing Nancy Spungen.

Seems like a pretty good crochet re-enactment to me. You get angry Sid, a dead Nancy, and the weapon: a knife, wiped clean. Is it wrong to say that this is the cutest crime re-enactment ever?

Nightmare from the Underbed Rabbit Monster

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rabbit monsterI’m feeling a tad sick. Maybe I’ll just get some soup from the cupboard. That will feel nice and-*opens the cupboard and screams. Slams the cupboard shut, screaming some more, running around hysterically in circles, hyperventilating into a paper bag, before fainting*

No. No, I’m feeling healthy. I’ll be fine. No soup for me. In fact, I don’t need anything from that cupboard. Ever again.

This scary beast clutching a soup can comes from Etsy seller RavendarkCreations for $250. It was inspired by Brom’s illustrated novel Plucker.
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Squeezably Soft: Colin the Colon Plush Toy

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plush colonNow is your chance to buy your very own plush colon. Just like your real colon, this guy is lovable and squeezable. The only difference is this one is clean, won’t pinch off a loaf and it has googly eyes. Usually, it’s me who gets googly eyes, from straining too hard.

TMI? Deal with it. I name my pooping sessions after the books I finish with each sitting. I just took a huge War and Peace. Lately I’m a big George R.R. Martin fan too. The other day I took a Storm of Swords and later that night, I took a Feast of Crows sized dukie that almost set off the fire alarm. I’m calling this whole week A Song of Grunting and Fire.

This cuddly colon is only $30 from Etsy seller organbank, who makes lots of other plush organs too.