Tag: replica

Nightmare on Elm Street Freddy Krueger Animated Chest of Souls Sweater

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Nightmare on Elm Street Freddy Krueger Animated Chest of Souls Sweater
You have no idea what it is like to be tormented by a thousand souls all writhing around in your chest, but I do. Happens to me every taco night. Which was last night. After this post, I’m off to the drug store to buy whatever cream has a firefighters logo on it, cuz I’m calling in a 4 alarm fire at the corner of Owmyanus and Main. Downstairs.

In order for the rest of you mere mortals to experience this(Minus the cramping, sweating, bloating and cursing.) you’ll need this Nightmare on Elm Street Freddy Krueger Animated Chest of Souls Sweater. *Points to the writhing faces on my stomach.* That one’s the one I had first. See how it’s almost absorbed into my skin. That one’s the one I dropped on the floor and ate anyway. Hey you guys stop fighting. You’re gonna make me puke here. I didn’t eat all of you just to puke you u- Oh man! Here it comes!

*Wipes face, breathing heavy.* That tasted better going down.
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Poison Apple Soap

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Poison Apple Soap
Check out this Poison Apple Soap. No wonder Snow White took a bite out of this thing. Looks friggin’ delicious with the frosting in the shape of a skull. How could you not eat it? Snow White was trippin balls anyway. 7 dwarves, magic mirrors, evil queens… They called her Snow White because of her coke habit. The 7 dwarves were actually variations of LSD. Crazy stuff. But true. I read it online so it has to be true.

Anyway, don’t eat this poison apple. It’s soap. It would taste like soap. It’s for washing your hands and looking cool in your home. What’s wrong with you? It would really harm you or at least make you fall asleep until some prince kissed you. Or something.

Mirror mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all? It’s me, isn’t it? Is this finally my chance? Please let it be me. I want so bad to be a pretty pretty Princess! Eh, that’s never going to happen! I need to give up on that dream. By the way, you can also check out this Black Heart Soap. It takes a very black heart to poison someone with an apple after all.

Replica Tub Of The Stuff

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Replica Tub Of The Stuff
Hey look. It’s the stuff. The stuff is awesome. I’m always eating the stuff and touching my stuff. I can’t put my stuff away. Seriously, it’s been a long time since I have seen the movie. All I remember is that this gooey treat is everywhere. A freaky goo that oozes from the earth and is marketed as a dessert.

I think it makes people act like zombies. Sure, I could look it up on Google, but I won’t. Make me punk! Okay, okay, I’m doing it. I just talk tough because I’m afraid to show my emotions. The stuff! Get it before it gets you.

Alien Facehugger With Moveable Tail And Limbs

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Alien Facehugger
Sorry I’m late guys. Slammed too many Monster drinks and right now I’m twitchier than a facehugger in a room full of mannequin heads. This Alien Facehugger With Moveable Tail And Limbs is not helping. I discovered it at the same time my cat was behind me and put her tail in my face.

Ahhhh! Facehuggers are real! Get it off! *Grabs tail. Cat screams. I scream. We all scream, but not for ice cream.* And now I have a cat shaped hole in the wall and a pissed off cat with a vendetta. So anyway, I’m all extra tweaky. Did you hear that? Was that a real sound?

Anyway, this creeptastic Facehugger is all articulated with moveable limbs and tail. I’m not scared. I’ll grab it by the back of whatever passes for a neck and point it at a Budweiser. I just turned a facehugger into a beer chugger. Cuz I’m awesome like that.

DEAR GOD! CAT ON FACE! CAT ON FACE!
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Michael Jackson Thriller Wolf Lifesize Movie Prop

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Michael Jackson Thriller Wolf Lifesize Movie Prop
Hey look. A wolf in teen’s clothing. It’s the Michael Jackson Thriller Wolf Lifesize Movie Prop. Cause this is Thrilla. Thrilla night. Wooo-Hooo. *Moonwalks backwards into a bench and falls over.* Hey Mike, you grab your crotch with those claws and you’re gonna be holding some pulled pork my friend. Ha ha ha. Oh, stop growling at me. I’m a fan.

One question, why so much white hair as a Werewolf? Too much stress? Careful with that, it’ll kill ya. Ohhhhhh. My bad. I’m just gonna tip my hat, grab my crotch and moonwalk on out of here. *Trips over my own two feet and falls backwards* That was more like a halfway to the moon, shuttle blows up moonwalk, but you get the idea.
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