This Critter Trophy Head Replica is going to look good in your home. There’s nothing like a critter above your sh*ter. As long as they aren’t coming from the toilet we’re all good. These guys are seriously messed up. The only species in the galaxy that failed to evolve toward basic dental care. C’mon… I’m not gonna make a joke about the British. You guys…
I’ll put this critter on the wall and act all tough like I shot it myself, when really I hid in some bushes while my Safari guide took it down. That’s one thing you have to know about me, I’ll only talk tough and brave when I already have your head on the wall.
TheScaryCloset lives up to their name by storing murderous dolls in their closet. Like Slappy The Dummy From Goosebumps and Annabelle from the Conjuring. These life sized replicas are pure nightmare fuel. Never want to sleep again? Buy these freaky freak faces. Yeah, these things are conjuring goosebumps all over my skin.
Click through for a shot of Anabelle too. It’s stuff like this that reminds me there’s a hell. You gotta act right or this is your afterlife. Having lunch with Lucifer and his demon dolls for all eternity. I’m changing my ways. At the very least, no more using swiffer pads and putting them back in the box, so I can get my money back. I’m turning over a new leaf. Read more “Goosebumps Slappy The Dummy Replica And Annabelle From The Conjuring”
Are you interested in these awesome Colorful Embellished Human Skull Replicas? Yeah? Going once. Going twice. Skulled to the highest bidder. I almost said bidet. They will not be sold to the highest bidet because 1) It’s too tall and 2)bidets don’t buy things. They just shoot water up your bum-hole.
Now that we have that cleared up, or should I say now that your butt has been sprayed clean, I can tell you about these fancy decorative skulls from etsy seller PoorYorickSkulls. They come in all kinds of styles and colors. Not all kinds of shapes cuz you know, skulls is skulls. My uncle used to say that. I would tug on his sleeve and say, “Isn’t she pretty uncle? She has a nice face.” He would look and say, “Eh. Skulls is skulls. But she’s got some nice *beep*. It rhymes with holes. My uncle was an ass. I should really visit him in jail someday soon.
Anywho these skulls is awesome. Here’s a song I wrote.
These skulls ain’t got no souls.
Ain’t got no use for Doctor Scholls.
Magic so hype,
They keep your daughters off poles.
Decorate yer house,
They frighten moles.
It’s got a nose hole,
And some eye holes,
You know you love it,
So shut your pie-holes.
Get yourself a Life Size Dinosaur Skeleton. Without having to dig it up from your back yard. Or like I did, tunneling under my own house so I can check my neighbor’s yard for fossils. To bad about the sink hole that lowered their roof to ground level. That was just coincidence. I only removed like 3 Wooly Mammoth skulls and a full T-Rex.
On the bright side, now I can do motorcycle jumps from my yard onto their roof, wearing an Evel Knievel jumpsuit and a dinosaur skull for a helmet. Well, not anymore since my cycle is now lodged half in their living room and half in their basement.
Damn. I guess Alpo ain’t working out for this pooch. And neither is Rogaine. When I first got a glimpse of this I said to myself, “Self, this is either a freaky acne-riddled business man in a dog suit doing some weird bondage thing or a man-dog representation of the herp come to warn us about unprotected sex.” I’m still not sure which is right, so I’m just taking their word for it, that this is Nightmare Dog From Nightmare on Elm Street 2. Seems legit.
