Hey it’s a Plush Spam Sandwich! I’m torn. On the one hand it’s spam which is a known (to my toilet)diuretic and is vomit inducing. On the other hand, it’s a plush that looks kinda cute. What to do? I think I’ll have the best of both worlds and puke while I cuddle it.
Kinda like I did that night I found out my date was packing a sausage in her spam sandwich. It was cuddly and cozy. With tears.
What a bunch of ButtHeads. Some are cute and some look grumpy, but these butts are for cuddling not for smoking. You can choose from: smoked, not smoked or stepped on. Pro tip: If they come home with lipstick on their filter, you know they have been cheating on you.
These huggable and lovable butts might even help you quit smoking. Just punch it or hug it. Or both. While others are lighting up in their smoking areas, join them with your ButtHead and softly caress it as you smell that sweet smoke. Take it with you everywhere in place of smoking. On the bus, to the movies, to dinner. When the craving becomes too much, strangle your ButtHead. That’s what it’s there for. It’s sooooo hard to quit. Which is why your ButtHead will end up shredded, on the wrong side of a knife as you completely lose it.
Damn. That felt good. I need a smoke after that.
These Faux Fur Wine Bottle Covers are furry and soft and they’ll make you want to cuddle your wine close and cozy up with it on cold nights. Which I do anyway. Sure I could join AA, but last time I went they just talked about cars and road safety. That’s AAA you idiot! Shut up. You’re just a sponsor locked in a closet. You ready to have that drink with me, or are you going to sleep without dinner again tonight?
You get a set of 3: Snow Leopard, Possum, and Lynx.
Check out this framed man-beast crotch, packing more hair than a grizzly. Etsy seller BeefcakeCraftArcade made this. Everyone needs a hobby I guess.
This man-beast has nothing on me, with that little cheeto bulge barely hanging over the frame. My Hanes would be exploding past that frame. Well, yeah, that’s mostly because of my belly, but trust me, my cheeto bag is full too!
The seller has a special note:
“The fur is soft and you’re gonna want to rub your face all over it. That’s fine and encouraged – pet it all you want! But please do not brush or shave the fur.”
Um, okay. Absolutely no danger of any of that happening from me. Just so we are clear.
Many come from miles away to talk to the dead. She watches them watching her. She can feel the planchette tracing words on her face. She speaks the words aloud, forming sentences. The ghosts’ hands are cold. So very cold.
Yeah. That’s what happens when you have a Ouija board for a head. Kind of looks like a Pop-Tart too. Now there’s a combination. Communicate with the other side and then take a bite out of it. Well, I’m off to secure the patent folks. When next we meet, I will be blogging from my personal jet.
This creepy and cute doll comes from Etsy seller ForeverFall. Sadly, the item is sold, but if you ask real nice, maybe they will make you one. Full image below.
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