These Cthulhu High Heels show off different representations of Cthulhu all over. Your soul may just be in jeopardy. Or your soles! Hey girl! Take a walk on the wild side! Doot doot doot doot de doot… Cuz you a true horror. And I mean that in the nicest way.
Hey, didn’t I see you at Miskatonic University? No kidding. How about you and me go get a Gin and Miskatonic then go back to my place for a little Lovecraft?
Everybody give a hand to the Frankenstein Hand Wall Hook or Guitar Hanger! *Crowd goes wild* Pretty handy. I’d read his palm, but I would have him in stitches. I have a million of ’em. Like this one:
What do you say when Dr. Frankenstein creates a pile of smokey goo instead of a re-animated monster? Then leaves it sit overnight smelling rotten? *Clears throat* I say, “To the Victor go the spoils…” Get it? Ha ha ha ha ha. Cuz his name is Victor and it is spoiled! Man, I crack myself up. Mostly cuz I’m on crack, but I’mma pretty funny dude too.
You are gonna be the ultimate creeper and freaker at the rave thanks to these Scary Light Up Masks. Are they still doing raves? I have no idea. Maybe people just aren’t raving about them so I’m not hearing about them. These masks are pretty scary. I wouldn’t want to see one in a dark alley. Then again, there’s a lot of stuff I never want to see in a dark alley. Like a dude wielding a knife, a gun or the unexpected exposed weiner. All of those scenarios get worse when the perp is wearing a mask like this. Send shivers down my spine.
At last I have a mug for my morphine! A Morphine Mug! *Takes a sip* Oh ho, that’s good stuff… *Hears a distant birdsong. Sees pretty colors as my eyes slowly close.* IIIIIIIIIIII have become… Comfortably numb… *wakes up with a jolt* Where was I? Oh yeah, I was in a hollowed out tree in 18th century france, playing strange games with the fuzzy electric bunnies, but that’s not important right now. My point is, this is a pretty cool mug. *Drifts off again.*
Hey, it’s the monster that wrecked Tokyo. And I ain’t talking Fukushima! What? Too soon? My bad. This cool Godzilla Wallet belongs in your pocket. It shows Godzilla on the rampage, breathing fire. It also shows Godzilla’s anatomy as if he got hit with a laser. I can see he had chicken for dinner, along with a butt-load of Japanese locals and tourists.
I say butt-load cuz it looks like they are gonna hurt coming out. Depending on his digestion anyway. I’d be backed up for a week. That meal is too rich. Get it? Too rich? Cuz ya have to be rich to travel and be a tourist these days.