This Edward Scissorhands Heart Necklace is the perfect accessory. Oh Edward, please be careful. You have my heart in your hands. *snikt. snikt.* And there goes another Valentine’s Day corpse that Edward has to dispose of. Never give your heart to a dude with scissor hands. Soft plushy hands maybe. Never scissor hands. What, are you crazy? What did you think was going to happen? Scissor hands are sharp. Come to think of it, how does he even pee? No way he has a weiner at this point!
Tag: strange
Do They Come In Medium? – Custom Ouija Board Heels
Damn girl. These Custom Ouija Board Heels are looking good. You are definitely communicating with my spirit. Oooooo baby, move your planchette all over my board. Ask me anything. I’m not sure if they will fit you though. Are you a medium? That’s just a little paranormal joke. These shoes have soul baby, but when you put your feet in them, they are sole crushing. Get it?
Drink Up With These Crazy and Gross Monster Mugs
Damn, these Monster Mugs from ScravisMugs are ugly. Those are some faces only a mother could love, even if that mother did have to take ’em down to the river and drown them cuz they so ugly. My beer better not taste like monster brains. At least I can have some company when getting drunk now thanks to these ugly heads. I will have an ugly head to drink from and the mug will have an ugly head drinking from it. We were made for each other.
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Horror Novel Whiskey Glasses
Whiskey. It’s what’s for dinner! That probably explains why my liver is the size of a- Wait. Where’d it go? Got so small it disappeared. One more drink outta bring it back. Check out these Horror Novel Whiskey Glasses. They have the opening lines of the books right there on the glass. Pretty cool. Now I can get literate while I’m getting s**t-faced. AKA s**t-erate! They have Frankenstein and Dracula. Hopefully they will add more so I can catch up on my reading while I’m pounding one back.
The Shining Redrum Horror Skirt
Hmmmm. I wonder what this The Shining Redrum Horror Skirt is all about. Hint: It’s about murder spelled backwards like a hundred times. Ladies, buy this and then always stand in front of a mirror when your husband is around. Don’t say a word. It will freak him out. Make sure you pack this if you ever travel to the Overlook hotel too. This skirt will be murder on your style. No, really. Redrum! Redrum!