Tag: strange

Skeleton Hands Napkin Holder

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Skeleton Hands Napkin Holder
Everybody put your skeleton hands together for this Skeleton Hands Napkin Holder. It uses both hands to hold your napkins and looks like it is doing so while raising out of a tar pit. When it has no napkins to hold, it just looks like it’s getting ready to clap. Stop giving yourself a hand and give me a napkin already Skeletor! Thanks! High five! No, stop clapping. No more! Stop! Why do you keep giving me the clap?

That came out wrong. I don’t have the clap. You… Stop having the clap. That someone gave you. Shut your stupid claptrap!

Gross Eyeball Pen

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Gross Eyeball Pen
This Gross Eyeball Pen is nasty. The problem is that it sees everything you write. You won’t have any secrets when you use this pen. You write something it doesn’t like, then it’s gonna eyeball you. It seems to have some festering blisters on it too. Yeah you ugly eyeball pen. I bet you show it a mirror and it wrecks its ugly self. I’m gonna make a special single sunglass for this thing. It will never look cool, but this will help.

Alien Head Pillows – Extrater(rest)rial

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Alien Head Pillows - Extrater(rest)rial
These Alien Head Pillows are perfect for alien-themed sleepovers. Isn’t Brad dreamy? OMG! What about Chandler? We should do our hair! Then before you know it, you are having a pillow fight and throwing alien heads at each other. Problem is that aliens can see you doing this through your window and they think that you have decapitated a bunch of their friends and are tossing their heads around in a berserker bloodlust rage. You are so getting probed tonight! Like probed deluxe, with all the trimmings. Sometimes intergalactic misunderstandings happen. I’m sure you will all laugh about it later aboard the UFO, while you say don’t make me laugh, my butt hurts too much.

Toys For Little Creepers – Plush Skeleton Dolls

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Toys For Little Creepers - Plush Skeleton Dolls
I can’t decide if these Plush Skeleton Dolls are cute or creepy, but that one guy in the back with no face… Nightmare fuel! Look at them. Just one big happy family with momma skeleton holding them all on a rocker. They’re tight too. Nobody makes fun of no-face or calls him names like Void or Spaceface, but you can tell that even they are creeped out by him. Did you know that plush skeletons grow up to become all rigid and bony, losing all of their plushy flesh by 12 years old? True story.

Do you think that pumpkin stole that kids face? Damn. Now I’m more weirded out by the pumpkin. Probably took his soul too. Yeah, that pumpkin is the real power behind the throne. There’s some messed up stuff going on here.

Tushiez Vases Are Herb Garden Holding Butts

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Tushiez Vases Are Herb Garden Holding Butts
So basically these Tushiez Vases Are Herb Garden Holding Butts. Butts that hold herbs or small plants. They are anatomically designed to be the most accurate butts they can be. Except the weiners are missing cuz people lose their shizz when they see a weiner, even if it’s on an old Roman statue. Weiners just aren’t enjoying the kind of popularity they had in ancient times when they were swinging everywhere and knocking into everything like swords. They need better PR. That’s my new company: Weiner PR. Let’s make weiners great again.

I don’t know. Looks like these were based on Cherub butts or something. Hey, can you get me some fresh sage? Sure, but I don’t know how fresh it’s gonna be coming out of this dude’s butt though. Look at ’em all lined up and jostling each other. That guy on the left is all like, hey, stop with the pushies on my tushiez already. No you stop your pushies on my tushiez!