Undead Tooth Plush

Undead Tooth Plush
There’s nothing worse than an undead tooth creeping around your house, probably pissed off because you used some string attached to a door handle to yank it out. Now it just floats around in ghost form and torments you.

Makes my mouth hurt just looking at this bloody disgusting thing. I’d tell it to go toward the light, but it already did that when it left my head. Where’d you go Tooth? I got a water pistol full of listerine. If I can’t get a dentist to exercise you, I’m gonna at least get all the funk off ya!

Toothy Tooth Explosion Tooth Art

Toothy Tooth Explosion
Holy molar! What happened here? It’s like a bunch of people all sneezed an atomic sneeze at the same time and blew their teeth out. That happens to me sometimes, but instead of teeth, it’s usually bits of my lunch that spray all over the place. I’m the reason the salad guard was invented. I say it adds flavor, the law says I’m now required to wear a welder’s mask at all times.

This tooth art also looks like a bunch of oldsters left their dentures on the same tray in the hot sun. Either way, I’m glad I brush my teeth. You should too guys and gals.

Freaky Teeth Coin Purse

vintage teeth coin purse
Your total is fifty dollars and forty-nine cents sir.

Here you go. Here is fifty dollars. And here is my Freaky Teeth Coin Purse where you can get the change. *Holds it up* You may open it.

Uh. I’m good. You open it.

No, I insist, you open it.

I’m not touching that mouth sir!

Go ahead. I can’t open it. I have arthritis.

Sir, you and your freak lady purse with teeth are holding up the line. Just go.

Well I never. *Bags my groceries and leaves* YES! This demented dental purse has saved me like seventy bucks this week. *Whistles through the parking lot.*

10 Terrifying And Toothy Items You Can Buy On Etsy

teeth necklaceTeeth. Why do so many Etsy sellers make things from or about teeth? Why so obsessed? Ya’ll are gross. I said that all southern like to make my point. You guys are just nasty. Click through for a bunch of freaky teeth related Etsy finds that you can really sink your teeth into.
Read more “10 Terrifying And Toothy Items You Can Buy On Etsy”