Tag: toy

Huge Stuffed Crab

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Huge Stuffed Crab
Huge Stuffed Crab! Huge Stuffed Crab! What’s it stuffed with? I don’t know. Probably your hopes and dreams and kitten wishes, all riding on the fragrant wind of unicorn farts. This stuffed crab is huge! XXL at least.

I haven’t seen crabs this big since the STD clinic near Fukushima got hit with gamma radiation. Don’t make these crabs angry. You wouldn’t like them when they’re angry. They get all crabby. Which is pretty much expected from a crab actually. They are grabby and crabby. They’ll pinch you and make you all scabby.
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Legends of Cthulhu Necronomicon Collector Set

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Legends of Cthulhu Necronomicon Collector Set
This Legends of Cthulhu Necronomicon Collector Set is truly legendary. Not legend-dairy, cuz that just means some kind of cow superhero. I think. Anyway, if you like Cthulhu, you’ll love this set. *Blogging like a DJ today in my shiny jacket and headphones, going all Wricka-Wricka and Erra Erra, puttin’ a match to my scratch and blown’ shizz up* Put your tentacles in the air like ya just don’t care and give it up for my main man Cthulhu and check check check this Necronomicon Box!

Like eldritch horrors? Well, inside of this box you’ll find a Welcome Letter from the Professor and the ‘Society of Cthulhu Investigators,’ a coloring book, an official ‘SCI’ Cthulhu ring, die-cut stickers, Cthulhu patch, and folded poster. Awesome.
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Creature from the Black Lagoon Action Figure

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Creature from the Black Lagoon Action Figure
This is the Creature from the Black Lagoon Action Figure that I’ve always wanted. One thing I never understood. Why is his lagoon black? Oil spill? I have no idea. I’m gonna get this guy and call him Gill. *Crickets* Get it? Gill? He’s got gills. *Silence* Tough room. Well, not that tough. I think I could take you all in a fight. If I was allowed to run home first and work out for like 2 years straight and come back.

Roses are red,
violets are maroon.(Color blind here.)
You always have to clean your carpet,
If your guest is the Creature from the Black Lagoon.

Doctor Dreadful Alien Autopsy Toy

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Doctor Dreadful Alien Autopsy Toy
Some toys will make your kids grow up to be doctors or carpenters, or even, god forbid, lawyers. Then some toys, like this Doctor Dreadful Alien Autopsy Toy will make your kid grow up to be…something else. I’m thinking something between a mad scientist and a serial killer.

Don’t believe me? Check out the video of this toy in action below. Complete with creepy mad scientist guy urging the kids to eat the crazy and nasty toy-food. Perform an autopsy kids. Then eat up. We can’t leave any evidence behind for Mulder and Scully to find after all. Check out how freaky this thing is.
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For Your Little Creeper’s Wish List: CSI Facial Reconstruction Toy

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csi facial reconstruction toy
Oh yeah. The CSI Facial Reconstruction Toy is just what every kid wants. Your child of 10 years + will love reconstructing the ghastly features of crime victims, by modeling clay on the skull of a fake corpse in an attempt to reconstruct that broken face and catch a bad guy.

What do you want for Christmas little Timmy?

I want to play with a corpse face and uncover the clues of how the victim died! *Huge smile that says please! Please! Please!*

*Looks at kid* Somebody get this little creeper a therapist or something. I’m sleeping with one eye open Timmy. Get some friends ya little freak!
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