This Tentacle Lantern Wall Plaque with LED Light is awesome. It’s like Cthulhu just punched a tentacle through your wall to give you a little light. Thanks a lot Cthulhu, but unless you plan on staying there and holding that light for the rest of your life, I’m gonna need that wall fixed. Damn. Stop trying to be so overly helpful. It causes problems. Great. Now I hurt his feelings. It’s gonna be okay big guy. Stop crying. My walls are getting all wet.
Tag: unique
Alien Xenomorph Custom Plush
I always wanted to snuggle up with a Xenomorph on a cold winter night. Then I got married and I have all the horror I could ever want from a cuddle partner. I kid. I kid. She reads this blog. This Alien Xenomorph Custom Plush will either kill you or cuddle you. Your chances are 50/50. Don’t be fooled by his cuteness. It takes 3-4 weeks for delivery, because they have to hatch this guy, incubate him, give him a lust for blood etc.
Blood Dragon Gothic Mini Chest
I wonder what’s in that Blood Dragon Gothic Mini Chest. It’s got chains so you know there’s something dangerous and horrible lurking within. Maybe a blood dragon! Wait! What is a blood dragon? A dragon who feasts on blood? A dragon who volunteers at the blood drive. An anemic dragon? The possibilities are endless. Man, I hate mysteries! I want to open it! I must know! Okay guys, I’m going for it. One. Two. Three. Opening the lid-
Uhhhhh. Yeah, I can’t really talk about what I just saw. Words can not describe it. Think horror on the level of all three golden girls naked and engaging in group activities that are just plain wrong, when George Costanza walks in… then add a blood dragon. *shudders*
Sasquatch Scary Peeper
This Sasquatch Scary Peeper will give your friends and family a Bigfoot sighting. Also, possibly a heart attack.
The Squatch is at your window creepin’,
The Squatch is at your window peepin’,
The Squatch is peeping at your door,
The Squatch is pooping on your porch floor.
And he ain’t cleaning it up either, cuz Bigfoot don’t carry bags with them to clean up their doo-doo. It’s up to you and me. I just wish he wouldn’t eat so much. It’s all huge and steaming. TMI I know. You can’t catch him. You can’t prove he exists. You just gotta clean up after him.
Gothic Spider Web Halloween Wedding Invitations
Having a wedding on All Hallows eve? These Gothic Spider Web Halloween Wedding Invitations will help. Say, why did the spider not send out any wedding invitations. Because she was a black widow. And they eat the male after sex.I think. Did I get that right? Anyway, that was a terrible joke.
I’m gonna get married on Halloween too, once a woman will have me. That way we can go trick or treating in our Wedding clothes. Do you have any idea how much candy a wedding dress will hold? Of course it has to come off of the bride first. Then they will complain for years how all of those Snickers bars and Kit Kats ruined her precious wedding dress. Waaa waaa waaa. Shouldn’t have been wearing white anyway, if you know what I mean.
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