Candy Land called. It wants its candy dress back. At a recent Willy Wonka fashion show this dress stole the show. It’s made out of Rock candy, Sour straps, Marshmallow ropes, Gummi Grapefruit & M&M’s. You know, the five basic food groups. You could tell that somebody hack stage licked it all over and then hung it back up cuz it was covered in lint and hair. For $2,500. it better be lined with everlasting gobstoppers.
Tag: unique
Leather Human Skulls
Hey leatherface. What’s up? These Leather Human Skulls are pretty cool. I could be…per-suede-ed to buy one. Get it? See what I did there? That’s such a bad joke, you should tan my hide. Uh-oh. Did it again.
These skulls started out as lace, believe it or not, but one day they were singing, “Give to me your leather, take from me, my lace.” And that’s when shizz got real. Used to be lace.Now are leather. Stuff like that happens with Stevie Nicks witchcraft songs.
Read more “Leather Human Skulls”
Denture Necklace
Time to have a denture adventure with this Denture Necklace. Ohhhhhhh gummy! Now when I need a top set cuz I’m trying to chomp down on a Burger King Whopper, I can just grab my necklace and shove ’em in my face. Like those librarians that have their glasses on their necklace, just more disgusting.
Nah. I would never do that. I’m just teething teasing.
Coffin Heart Brooch
This Coffin Heart Brooch is a coffin. It’s a heart. If anyone has ever ripped out your heart and buried it six feet under, you know the pain I’m talking about. Also, if someone did that to you, you are probably dead. Cuz we can’t survive without a heart. Politicians are the exception.
Wear this brooch proudly near your heart. It may just protect you from heartbreak. *sobs* I just can’t… I feel so lonely and sad and used. Why? Why was the store out of Cool Ranch Doritos? Dear God, why? *sobs hysterically.*
Spooky Trees Halloween Wine Glasses
These Spooky Trees Halloween Wine Glasses are not only spooky, but scary too. An empty wine glass is a horrifying thing. Quick, fill me up. Ahhhh, that’s better. Again. Chop chop. We wouldn’t want my liver getting dry, now would we? Make like a tree and leave. Then come back with my drink. Don’t you bark at me. Hmmm. I just ran out of tree jokes. I’m gonna get to the root of my drinking problem, I swear. But I’m gonna go out on a limb and guess that won’t be happening tonight. Give me another kind of drink. Gonna branch out. *Passes out*