You are going to get a lot of compliments when you wear this Deer Skull Necklace. Here are just some of the things you’ll hear:
Deer God, that’s a nice necklace.
Be a dear and- Oh my, you have a deer around your neck.
Where ya from? Deerborn, Michigan?
Who are you? The Deery Queen? Can I get a Blizzard?
Well kiss my deery-air, are those antlers?
Dear, can you fetch my deer necklace?(You to your husband)
Nice antlers btw.
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The Cat Skull Necklace will hypnotize everyone around you. Did she murder Mr. Fluffybottom to make that necklace? Does he control you now? Does he want wet food and tummy scratches? Are his teeth pressing into your chest to keep you in line? They’ll never know for sure. And they won’t care, cuz the cat skull will gaze into their soul, making them forget they ever saw it, until they are startled by it all over again and the whole process repeats.
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Show some backbone. These Vertebrae Tea Light Candles will help. They go well with Vertebrae Shot Glasses. Just be careful, this is one time when a slipped disc can burn the house down.
Light these candles for a romantic evening. Then say, “Baby, you set my spine on fire.” To which she will say, “What the hell is wrong with you?” And you will be alone. Again. With your still burning candles.
Oh look. A Giant Spider Statement Ring. I think I can guess what the statement is: Get it the hell off me! Yep, that’s the statement alright. Seeing a spider ring this big really shows you what massive butts they have. That’s because they have to store all kinds of stuff in the badonkadonk. They have to store all of that spider silk, their poop, their pee, their kids… I’m pretty sure that is scientifically valid, cuz I read it once on the web. The web knows about spiders. Duh!
That’s pretty nasty to be carrying all that around in one sack. That’s like you having a huge triple-duty booty and carrying like 3 blankets, all your poop, all your pee and letting your nasty kids bounce around in all that, while you go about your bidness shopping at Walmart.
Spiders is nasty.
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Wear these Cthulhu Potion Necklaces from TheCuriousCogsmith and you will never be without potion. Or tentacles. Is it a love potion? I have no idea. Only one way to find out. *Glog glog glog.* Oh yeah. It’s definitely working, cuz I’m in love with these necklaces. Should everything be going hazy and wavy? Is that eye winking at me from within that flailing tentacle? Uh-oh. Here come the magic little elves riding unicorns. Somebody talk me down. I think I’ve been dosed. Shanghaied. Cthulhu-ed. Oh, there he is now, beyond that shimmering gateway. What does he mean “enjoy the trip?” Later guys. I don’t feel so good.
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