Tag: unique

Octopus Tentacles Light Switch Covers

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Octopus Tentacles Light Switch Covers
Aceofclay makes some really cool Octopus Tentacles Light Switch Covers. Pfft! Can they reach their tentacles down and turn off the light when I leave the room? *Lights go off.* Damn, I guess they can. Can you turn it back on? It’s not that I’m scared of the dark, I always scream when the lights go off, cuz I’m excited about saving money on my electricity bill.

Okay, I admit it. I’m scared. Can we get the lights back on? It’s not fair when an Octopus bullies a man-pus. C’mon squid it already. I mean quit it. *Lights come on* Much better. Now where was I? Oh yeah, these light switch covers are pretty awesome. Even if they do have a mind of their own.
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Mummified Palmistry Hand

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Mummified Palmistry Hand
Fun story: I thought I was an apprentice practicing palmistry for like two years one time. Turns out I was actually doing what they call “shoplifting”. That’s why I don’t trust gypsies. Anyway, now I know better. Palmistry also will not make you go blind, no matter how many times you do it. That’s a common misconception. It is the art of evaluating a person`s character or future by reading the palm of their hand. I plan on buying this Mummified Palmistry Hand and making a fortune.

*Puts on my gypsy gear.* Take your hands from your pockets. Let me see your palm. Hmmmm. I sense that you are a craftsman. Do you work with a saw? I see a horrible accident that has claimed both your hands!

What was your first clue? The fact that my wrists end in stumps? Or that I have no palm to read?

I was right! Yes! Hey- Why does a guy with no palms enter a Palm Reading shop? And how did you turn the doorknob and open the door?

*The hand-less man suddenly sprouts hands from his coat sleeves, and rips off his mask to reveal an old and gnarled woman, cackling like mad.*

YOU!

*The crazy woman runs out of the shop.*

Damn you gypsy! Why does this kind of thing keep happening to me?
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Gargoyle Engagement Ring

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Gargoyle Engagement Ring
This Gargoyle Engagement Ring features two Gargoyles resting by the roof of a building. You know how you make a Gargoyle? Get engaged. Get cold feet. Then get on the roof and prepare to jump. And since you suck at that too, just sit there for eternity. That’s how you create a Gargoyle.

Yeah, but how do then turn to stone then? Explain that.

The wife shows up below and looks at him.

Huh?

They were about to marry Medusa.

Wow.

Yeah, she has been left at the alter soooooo many times. She’s pretty bitter about it.
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UFO Art Pottery – The Truth Is Out There

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UFO Art Pottery
Man, there’s just not enough alien/UFO art pottery. Thank Xenu that CommonGroundPottery is making weird and cool UFO stuff for your home. They look like stuff that an archaeologist dug up, while proving that we have been visited before. In fact, I dare somebody to prove that we have not been visited before. I’ve been visited by the cable guy, a UPS driver, a Jehovah’s Witness, and some kid selling candy bars for his school. And that was just this week. So yeah! Case proven!

I love the saucer shaped pieces that show the pilots in the cockpit. *Giggles* I said cockpit. If you have two aliens in a cockpit, I guess you know what that makes them. Two c**ks in a cockpit. Why do you think they call it that? That’s where c**ks go. Just being honest. I hope they don’t have a sword fight in there. I’m concerned cuz it’s a small area,with delicate equipment.
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Bat Compact Mirror

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Bat Compact Mirror
This Bat Compact Mirror will make putting on your makeup even more fun. It’s just you and your bat-mirror, fixin’ up that face! Well I- No, let me get a word in- I didn’t mean your face isn’t pretty already. I’m just saying that bats are great makeup wingmen, because they actually have wings. This compact is all kinds of Victorian, steampunk, bat punk, gothic, not to mention I just ran out of adjectives.

If I were a woman, I’d be putting on makeup all day long just so I could use this cool mirror and brag how cool it is, and be snooty, and talk about how beautiful I am. Yeah, I would be a B**ch… A b**ch with an awesome accessory, that you don’t have! Am I right ladies?
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