Tag: unusual

Light-up Iridescent Seahorse Costume

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seahorse costume
This seahorse looks surprisingly happy about washing up on a pile of rocks, so I have to deduct points for bad acting(She may have just had a bad script). However, she gets bonus points for making a kick-ass Seahorse costume and for having a nice set of sea-legs.

If you have a spare $450. and yearn to live life like the horse of the sea, go ahead and pull the trigger. Click through for another sexy beach pic, followed by a creepy pic of this Seahorse doing the chicken dance, while in the background a fog forms, summoning the ghosts of a Seahorse army.
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Land Line Lighting: Rotary Telephone Table Lamp

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phone light

This old rotary phone may take forever to dial a number, but as a lamp it works instantly. It’s the ultimate in land line lighting.

I have one myself and I like it a lot. Thing is, every time I answer the phone I burn the hell out of my ear and mouth area. So I have trouble talking and I can hear about as well as a 90 year old at an AC/DC concert. People are starting to ask if I have a learning disability. No. I jus hath a cool lump in ma fone. It makes shaving really easy though. When I answer the phone I just rub it around my face for a clean shave before saying Haw-whoa.

Cable Knit Sweater Pillar Candles

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cable knit sweater candleIt is getting downright cold outside. It’s time for sweaters, fleece and mittens. It’s so cold, even the candles are starting to dress for winter. Take these Cable Knit Sweater Pillar Candles. They’re dressed up all warm and cozy, just like you and me.

I saw these last week and thought I could make my own. Long story short, a few sweaters glued around a wick and reinforced with earwax that I had laying around don’t make for a safe candle. Or as the fireman said, “It’s this idiot again guys. Let it burn!” Then later while I was sipping hot cocoa with a blanket around me, “Son, you are a special kind of stupid. Should you even be living on your own?”

Well duh! I’ve been saying that for years. Anyone have a sweater? I’m freezing here.

These Boots Are Made For Walking…Two Creepy Doll Heads

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Creepy Doll Spats
Spats? What the hell is a spat? Turns out they are those boot covers that WWI era people wore. Not the past tense of stuff that was previously spit on. Anywho, these spats have creepy baby doll heads on them. You can take them for a walk and they will probably start talking to each other, before working their way up to making kill requests of you.

That one. Kill that one!

No. That one over there with the Lucky Charms!

Will you two shut the hell up! I’m trying to shop here! I have to get milk and eggs. Why the hell am I wearing spats???
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Giant Lobster Claw Lamp

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giant lobster claw lampDamn. That’s one giant lobster claw. It’s perfect for that Spongebob Squarepants themed room you have been decorating. It can go right next to your crabby patty snack tray. Fun fact: I tried square pants for about a year, but my sharp butt corners kept tearing my couch to pieces. That is such BS that that guy can sit on any furniture.

Anyway, this giant lobster claw lamp will look great in any nautical themed room. It even has a spool of rope around the bottom like some now-dead sailor tried to catch it. Nope, Didn’t work. All you gave him was a lobster bracelet while his other claw snapped you clean in half.

No way I’m getting this lamp. With my faulty electrical system, this thing would reanimate every time I got a power surge. Playing “Turn the lamp on and see if you still have fingers after” is not a fun game. I already play a similar game every time I add another plug to that one mass of plugs I call my “one outlet to rule them all”. If it sparks that’s how you know it’s working. At least that leaves my fingers intact as it’s frying my body.
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