This Mr And Mrs Frankenstein Knife Set is purely for decorative purposes, but it should read “In case of marital monster fight break glass”. That way Mr. and Mrs. monster can fight to the death. It probably turns them on. Monsters are weird like that.
You get two twin butcher knives that are hand painted with the likeness of Frankenstein and his bride, in a shadow box.
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Awwww! Look at these two. they look like such a cute couple. He clearly has her heart. Or someone’s heart on his pitchfork. With this Zombie Gothic Wall Sculpture, you get all of the classic art that is American Gothic, with a zombie spin.
This wall plaque will look great on your wall, whether you have other zombie decor or not. I would hate to meet this couple in a dark hallway. So I’m just gonna always keep that hallway lit. Just in case.
This Dragon Door Knocker is going to look awesome on my front door. Especially after I took out that second mortgage to give the place that whole Game of Thrones makeover. So what if it looks more like a beat up Jenga pile. I’m no contractor. Knock knock knock! Who is it? It’s dragon. Dragon who? Dragon my butt, cuz I’m so tired from blogging all day.
You can’t come in, the king’s not here.
I am the king!
Prove it! Prove your worth by removing a giant stone block from the castle of Jenga and I’ll let you in.
We went through this last week and it’s not funny. I lost the entire bedroom that day. And you’re just some dude named Merlin who I’m renting a room to and who farts way to much, then tries to cover it up with magic. Fine whatever, but I’m taking a piece from your side of the castle this time.
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Yeah, these pieces of Demented Baby Doll Wall Art are pretty nightmare inducing. You can hang your keys from their tiny freaky hands and use them as a coat rack or just stare at them and wig the hell out. I can picture these in my house and I ain’t scared at all.
*Opens the front door after a long day* Daddy’s home babies! *The nightmare creep babies all push through the walls with their freaky little hands reaching out and their heads protruding from the wall. A productive and well behaved nightmare army.* Baby hands grab my keys, while another pair grabs my coat. This is the life. I just can’t get too close to the wall. I must never let them collectively grab at me and pull me into their dark abyss beyond the walls. *Shudders* But seriously, it’s super sweet child labor without the illegality and guilt.
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This Sign Language Wall Clock is perfect for those of us who can’t hear and can’t read numbers at the same time. Like my senile grandpa who continues to “garden” in the sink. Poor guy. He thinks his poopy diaper is actually fertilizer he bought from the garden store and that anything from my fridge is a flower. In his defense that diaper weighs about the same by the time he drops his cargo and tears it off. Damn it gramps! Stop dipping Hot Pockets and pudding pops in poo! I’ll take that bag of corn too. Looks like that’s the one crop you grow just fine!
Even he could understand this clock. I think it should show the middle finger at 6 though, because that’s when I go to work. This guy’s costing me a fortune in food and sanitizer.