Tag: women

Skull Bath Bomb with Hidden Brain Soap Inside

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Skull Bath Bomb with Hidden Brain Soap Inside
This Skull Bath Bomb with Hidden Brain Soap Inside makes for a real relaxing bath. Unless I’m in the house with you. In which case, I’ll be busting in the bathroom yelling, “Bombs away!” as I toss a couple in your water, splashing it everywhere.

They’re bombs! What did you expect? Bath bombs! Meaning bombs for your bath! They don’t work unless somebody is tossing them like a grenade. By the way, these grenades have a brain inside, so you will be left bathing in brains. Were as I bathe with beauty. That’s why we’re such a good couple.

Gothic Skull Ring

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Gothic Skull Ring
This Gothic Skull Ring is pretty awesome. It looks like it is coming alive all 3D like. That’s pretty scary. Not as scary as that time I had a grease fire trying to make my own deep friend Snickers bars and tried to put it out with a gallon of water, but still. That reminds me, my eyebrows still aren’t growing back. I guess I’ll be leaving the house as angry-sharpie-brow guy again today. At least it keeps other humans from interacting with me.

Gothic Bat Necklace

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Gothic Bat Necklace
Even if you don’t know much about fashion and style, you can always wing it with this Gothic Bat Necklace. Get it? Wing it? Oh, this would look lovely on you Morticia. You too Elvira. Yeah, so what if I’m a name dropper? Once I dropped my friend Jennifer’s name. Broke a few letters. Now she’s just Jen. No, not Jenny from the block. Jenny the checkout girl from the store down the street. Nah, she doesn’t work the register. I just like to check her out. Well, not like a library book or anything. She doesn’t have time and date stamps down her spine from me checking her out.

Oh man, I get so off track after like 4 cups of coffee. Also after some D cups. Any size really. Damn, I’m really tweakin’ here guys. Off track like a wrecked race car. Okay, calm down. I can do this. *Takes a deep breath.*

Basically I’m trying to say that this Bat Necklace is awesome. It’s the bees knees. The bat’s knees. Bat-knee. Is that bat acne? I have no guano idea.

I’m out. Gonna go run around the house and scream until I feel normal again.

Mr. Teddy Man Body Pillow

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Mr. Teddy Man Body Pillow
You’re so snuggly Mr. Teddy Man. Will you make all of my dreams come true and love me forever? You’re so sweet. I wish I could lay here forever in your manly embrace. But I have to go to work and pine for you for the next 8 hours, while I wonder why I don’t have a real man. Oh no! I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. Please don’t leave me! I can do better. I can change. I didn’t mean it! Please don’t- Oh, you aren’t leaving. I’m sorry. You really are the best. I don’t deserve you.

Ouija Board Heels

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Ouija Board Heels
You women and your shoes. You have to have a show for every occasion. Dinner, parties, the beach, channeling the dead. Why is it not spelled Wee-ja? Stupid English language. Whatevs! These Ouija Board Heels from MissFiendishApparel are pretty neat.

Pardon me Miss, I couldn’t help but notice your amazing Ouija shoes. I’m pretty good at communicating with the departed. Mind if I have a go? Thank you. *Bends down on one knee. Takes a ring off my finger and uses it as a planchette. It slowly moves across the shoe* Mmmm, this is interesting.

What does it say?

It says congratulations, someone is looking up your dress!
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