Hope you pick a winner. Ya booger. This Pick A Winner Booger Soap shines a bright light on that disgusting habit you have. Picking your smell-hole for slimey green nuggets. I don’t know about you, but I usually wait until late at night, then flick ’em at the wall. Which explains why I go to bed with a white wall and wake up to a speckled green one. DIY room makeover. Take that one HGTV.
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Tag: wtf
Articulated Rattlesnake
It’s an Articulated Rattlesnake. Does that mean it’s well spoken? I kid. I kid. More like rattle bones, am I right? This guy is gonna look good on my shelf and scare everyone who visits my home. And by everyone, I mean mother. And yes, I refer to her as mother in the weird creepy Norman Bates way.It’s okay. Mother can’t hear us. She’s in the other room in her rocking car, collecting cobwebs.
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Twisted Trivia – The Serial Killer Trivia Board Game
The Serial Killer Trivia Board Game sounds like a real fun time and all, but all I know about these wack-jobs is to stay the hell away from them. Have you heard about the Board Game Killer? He gets people to play this game with him and if they don’t know jack about serial killers, they ain’t leaving alive. He’ll carve your bones into dice man. So I’m out. Imma stick to Yahtzee and Monopoly.
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Baby Cat Cocoon – Crazy Cat Lady Training Tool
Say you want to be a crazy cat lady, but instead of a host of furry felines, all you have is a smooth skinned baby. No worries. You can turn that baby into a cat with the Baby Cat Cocoon and start practicing for when you have a hundred cats one day. Don’t forget to neglect your hygiene and eat plenty of lean cuisine and healthy choice frozen dinners. That shizz is mandatory for any crazy cat lady. And never address your child in English ever again. Instead meow at them and rub their tummy and stuff.
Batman and Superman Drawn As Living Nightmares
Saggy Town sells these freakish and demented artworks that show characters like Batman and Superman all messed up and grotesque. *Singing in a robot voice* Won’t you take me too…Saggy Town? Won’t you take me to Saggy Town? do do do do do – do do do do do! Hell, if you wanna go to saggy town you better try over the river and through the woods, to my grandmother’s house you go. That’s Saggy Town. Trust me, it’s like two lemons hanging at her belt. Her home is also Funky Town due to the old people smell.
Anyway, click through for Batman and Supes inhabiting the same body and being generally fugly.
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