Author: Artemis Winterford

Christmas Ornaments Set For An Instant Creepy Christmas Tree

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Christmas Ornaments Set For An Instant Creepy Christmas Tree
I don’t know about you, but my Christmas Tree needs more Cthulhu, Krampus and Zombie ornaments. Good thing this Christmas Ornaments Set For An Instant Creepy Christmas Tree gives you everything you need to have an instant scary tree. You have Cthulhu, Krampus, some skulls, more Cthulhu, more skulls. It’s as if a portal of evil has erupted from under the tree and did all of the decorating for you.

Oh Christmas tree,
Oh Christmas tree.
You scare my until I peeeeee!

Santa is in for a real surprise when he gets to your house!

The Silent Scream Holiday Ornament Set

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The Silent Scream Holiday Ornament Set
This Silent Scream Holiday Ornament Set is gonna look great on your tree. These ornaments all look like, “OHHHHHH MYYYYY GAWDDDDD! IT’S SANTA!” Yeah, these ornaments are a real scream. They’re based on a famous work of art by artist Edvard Munch, which is also a scream. I like how she holds her face up, getting the most out of that shriek. It is a she right? I have no idea. To me paintings are just still cartoons.

Anyway, these ornaments are a silent scream, so they won’t make a lot of noise, despite how excited they look.

Three Alien Wisemen Christmas Ornament Set

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Three Alien Wisemen Christmas Ornament Set
You know how the pyramids were built by aliens? Well they also visited baby Jeebus and came bearing gifts. All around the world, people celebrate the three alien wisemen who arrived that day to see the boy king of kings and now you can celebrate this trio in your own home by displaying the Three Alien Wisemen Christmas Ornament Set.

You get Grog’nok, Pilch’nark and Gil’mek all carrying the ceremonial stars to give to baby Jeebus as a gift. One by one they approached the manger and gave the gift, and in doing so, exposed their nakedness to everyone in the manger. It is the alien way. Bring only enough to cover yourself and then run back to the spacecraft.

And so we celebrate and we remember with these special keepsakes.
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Evil Eye Necklaces – Stop Looking At Me!

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Evil Eye Necklaces - Stop Looking At Me!
You giving me the evil eye? Okay, cool. As long as it’s not the stink eye. Or the pink eye. These Evil Eye Necklaces from Etsy seller SharaJewels are a great accessory. I’m calling this one Iris. So how do you make this kind of eye jewelry? Well, you have to learn and be a good pupil. You have to sit in school and learn and not say anything corny…a. You gotta have 20/20 focus, or if ya don’t you can always hit up lenscrafters, where they laugh at you and fit you with a pair of old timey nerd-glasses, but that may have just been a special treat just for me.

Anyway, I really just want this one to stop looking at me, cuz it’s kinda flirty and kinda dirty. Which makes me feel self conscious. So stop it.

Human Centipede Ginger Bread Man

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Human Centipede Ginger Bread Man
So… That happened. The Human Centipede Ginger Bread Man wants to be your new favorite holiday decor. Looks like they have a good ginger bread train going there. All aboard! Choo choo! If you’re gonna do the whole human centipede thing, I guess being a ginger bread man is the way to go. That way, all you taste is ginger bread, instead of you know, butt. I love that guy’s face in front. He’s all like, “Holy shizz! I did not see my day going like this!”
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