Hey buddy. How bout a hand? A skeleton hand isn’t what I had in mind. This Soap Dish Skeleton Hand is a cool and creepy accessory for your kitchen or bathroom. Maybe you can position it to make it look like it’s coming out of the wall. No bones about it, this is a cool accessory. Put a little soap on, then let the bony hand rub it in and give you a massage. That’s what I would do.
Author: Artemis Winterford
Articulated Rattlesnake
It’s an Articulated Rattlesnake. Does that mean it’s well spoken? I kid. I kid. More like rattle bones, am I right? This guy is gonna look good on my shelf and scare everyone who visits my home. And by everyone, I mean mother. And yes, I refer to her as mother in the weird creepy Norman Bates way.It’s okay. Mother can’t hear us. She’s in the other room in her rocking car, collecting cobwebs.
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Awesome Cthulhu Journal
This Cthulhu Journal looks pretty friggin’ cool man. Use it as a diary, or a journal, or a place to write your awesome yet unappreciated Cthulhu fan fiction titled “Titillated By Tentacles” aka Miskatonic Mistress. Or “A tentacle fondled my mountains of madness.” Or just you know, use it for grocery lists or something. But I really want to read your fan fiction. Sounds exciting and neurotic. I mean erotic. I mean. I don’t know what I mean.
Dracula Novel Book Scarf
Man, I really love this book. I’m all wrapped up in it. Get it? I’m all wrapped up in this Dracula Novel Book Scarf. Vlad the impaler? More like Vlad, the ensconcer. It’s a novel. It’s a scarf. For all I know, it’s a novel about a young scarf who thinks it’s a novel, but really it’s a drug-addled guy who is scarfing some food down. That’s some head-trippy inception stuff right there. Mind blown by that theory! Good think that theory bought my mind dinner first. Do I even know what I’m saying? I wouldn’t put money on it.
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Illuminati Necklace
Oh look, an Illuminati Necklace. It’s the all seeing eye of the illuminati! Pffft! I bet it didn’t see what I did in the shower earlier. Spoiler alert: I peed. When ya gotta go, you gotta go. Technically I wasn’t “in the shower” yet, but I did it anyway. It’s like my litter box and I’m a bad bad kitty. *Licks paw and rubs my head.*
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