Author: Artemis Winterford

Holy Mackerel: Fish Zipper Pouch / Coin Purse

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Holy Mackerel Fish Zipper Pouch Coin Purse
Holy Mackerel. This Fish Zipper Pouch is exactly what I need when I go fish shopping.

“That will be $45 sir.” (I buy a lot of fish.) “I see a fish sticking out of your pocket sir! Did you steal that?”

“$45.That’s an outrage!” *Pulls my fish pouch out and slaps her with it.* Whoops! That didn’t make the squishy sound I expected on your face. Of course, I didn’t steal this one. It’s a pouch. I stole this one!”

*Whips a fish out of my other pocket and slaps her with it. Runs for the exit.*
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Mermaid Skeleton Necklace Pendant

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Mermaid Skeleton Necklace Pendant
Show your love for mermaids with this cool Mermaid Skeleton Necklace Pendant. You have to show your love and respect mermaids. Mermaids are the maids of the sea, keeping Poseidon’s castle clean and washing Aquaman’s clothes. Sometimes they have to cook the Little Mermaid dinner. They even have to find Nemo when no one else can. Mermaids have a tough job. So be nice to them.

Raised Skeleton Jewel Box Sculpture

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Raised Skeleton Jewel Box Sculpture
I’ve gotten some of my best gifts from random skeleton hands reaching out from my desk. This Raised Skeleton Jewel Box Sculpture is no exception. It is a lovely shiny skeleton hand holding a jewel box. It is embellished with Celtic crosses, skulls, cross bones and sparkling faux gems. It’s pretty awesome.

Never look a gift skeleton in the mouth. I mean hand.

Bat Coffin Clock

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Bat Coffin Clock
You know what time it is. Time for bats! Put this Bat Coffin Clock in your belfry and go batty. It’s a coffin. It’s a clock. Bats are everywhere! What more could you want? Halloween is fast approaching and you’re going to want to decorate. This is the perfect October clock right here. It’s Bat-tastic.

Hellraiser Welcome Mat

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Hellraiser Welcome Mat
This Hellraiser Welcome Mat has a picture of pinhead. Also the words, “You knocked. We came”. which sounds kinda dirty. I’ve never been that excited about a visitor, but hey, whatever floats your banana boat. Your friends will look at this welcome mat and say, “That’s the home of a real Hellraiser right there”. Yeah, but he still wants you to wipe your damn feet! I work hard to keep these floors clean.