Author: Artemis Winterford

Alien Facehugger Mask And Sweater

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Alien Facehugger Mask And Sweater
You know what day it is? Alien Day. The day we celebrate the classic sci-fi horror movie and one of the things that made me such a terrified and awkward child. It gave us Xenomorphs and Facehuggers and Sigourney Weaver in her undies. Anyway, to celebrate the anniversary, Mondo is selling a bunch of cool Alien stuff today. Our favorites are the Alien Sweater and the Facehugger Ski Mask.

The sweater looks pretty awesome, but that mask scares the hell out of me. I feel like I’m being robbed by a Facehugger wearing assailant every time I look at that pic. That is some scary shizz right there. It’s like man and facehugger have merged.
Read more “Alien Facehugger Mask And Sweater”

Custom Horror-Themed VCRs

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Custom Horror-Themed VCRs
Who still uses VCRs? This guy! Artist and VHS horror movie collector Sorce122 makes custom-painted horror-themed VCRs. Heh! Sucker. Get with the times. What? He sells them for $70 each? Probably more now that Creepbay is giving him some extra exposure. They look pretty damn good too.

He probably got the idea because his VCR went all Texas Chainsaw Massacre on his tape one day. Most of us upgrade to a DVD player at that point. Not this guy. And for that I salute you sir. I shall always be kind and rewind, in your honor. No I won’t. I’m all about going forward, not backward.
Read more “Custom Horror-Themed VCRs”

H.P. Lovecraft Cthulhu Socks

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

H.P. Lovecraft Cthulhu Socks
Keep your toe tentacles warm and cozy with these H.P. Lovecraft Cthulhu Socks. They are frightfully fashionable and creepily couture. You’re walking with an elder god now. How does that feel? Surprisingly soft? I thought so. My feet are also hearing the call of Cthulhu, so maybe I’ll give them a try. Just call me H.P. Love-Comfort. I also go by H.P. Love-Pizza and H.P. Love French Fries.

Hand Made Stone Skull Dice

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Hand Made Stone Skull Dice 2
It’s time to roll them bones with these Hand Made Stone Skull Dice. Forget rolling snake eyes. I’m rolling skull eyes from now on. You play with these dice and heads (skulls) are gonna roll. They were sculpted and cast by hand in case you were wondering. They weren’t carved from the skulls of tiny square-headed people.

Legend has it that when you play with these dice and have somebody blow on your dice for luck, you can feel their breath on your own skull. Oh wait, that’s not right. That was just that guy standing way too close behind me. Back up dude! I can smell what you ate for breakfast! Smells like bacon and pancakes and despair. Seriously, back up. Your hot stinky breath made my dice into sad skull faces.

Weird Art Prints- Faux Taxidermy Cameos

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Weird Art Prints- Faux Taxidermy Cameos
These Weird Art Prints- Faux Taxidermy Cameos from LuxCups are fun and freaky. I would totally wear them, but I can’t, because they’re prints. You have your shark in a suit (Must be a lawyer), a nun with a dinosaur head, Godzilla as a priest and more. I wish I could get these guys as action figures.

I’m weird like that, but that’s why you and I get along. I bring you the weird and freaky stuff, you bring me warm fuzzy feelings. Nevermind. Didn’t realize I was rubbing the fuzzy dice hanging from my computer. OUCH! Never mind. It was a pair of bees! Damn my bad eyesight and your furry hides!

Anyway, the point is we’re all good, you and me, but if it’s a parasite host relationship kind of deal, I’m pretty sure I’m the parasite. Just sayin’. No need to flush me out of your bowels or anything though. I’m the good kind. Of course, that’s just what a parasite would say, isn’t it? I guess you’re just gonna have to trust me. We got a mutually beneficial thing going on here.
Read more “Weird Art Prints- Faux Taxidermy Cameos”