Author: Artemis Winterford

Beetlejuice Head Glass Pendant

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Beetlejuice inspired heady glass pendant
This Beetlejuice Head Glass Pendant looks pretty scary. I think it’s based on the cartoon. Like me, this guy features UV reactive hair, teeth,and eyes. I fell into a radioactive container and got superpowers, what’s your excuse? And no, I’m not saying your name three times. Why don’t you say my name three times, huh? That would be a change. It’s always about you isn’t it?

He kinda looks like a radioactive Albert Einstein when he’s all glowing and stuff.
Read more “Beetlejuice Head Glass Pendant”

Taxidermied Mice Having A Seance

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Taxidermied Mice Having A Seance
These Taxidermied Mice Having A Seance are doing it all wrong. The dead don’t try to raise the living. Well, there was that one time I was playing poker with a zombie. He raised and went all in. Sucker. I cleaned up, took my winnings and hit the restroom for a royal flush.

Look at these guys with their little tarot cards and occult objects. Too bad they aren’t alive, cuz then I could call one of them Alistair Crawley. Get it? Cuz he’d be crawling all over the place.
Read more “Taxidermied Mice Having A Seance”

Horror Vinyl Record Wall Clock

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Horror Vinyl Record Wall Clock
This Horror Vinyl Record Wall Clock makes my horror loving heart skip a beat. Get it? Like a record skipping? *Pfft* This generation and their CDs. Huh? What do you mean they don’t use CDs anymore? I wouldn’t know since music is so shizz these days. They gotta get in the groove and get on track. Heh. Just some more vinyl record humor.

Anyway, between Freddy, Jason and Michael Myers here, I bet they set a record for killing the most people ever aside from Monsanto of course, so it’s only natural they should actually be on a record looking all scary. This record is also a clock.

Hey what time is it? It’s half past Freddy’s glove and a quarter to Jason’s mask. Naturally.

Hipster Head Bag

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Hipster Head Bag
The Hipster Head Bag lets you carry the head of a hipster around with you as if you have decapitated one and are now using it as a trophy purse. Carry your items inside the head of this hipster and fill his head with something aside from artisanal foods and how to tie off his man-bun under that hat. This bag really is hip. Cuz it’s on your hip.
Read more “Hipster Head Bag”

Black Spiked Mouse Mace Ears

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Black Spiked Mouse Mace Ears
Check out these Black Spiked Mouse Mace Ears. Mace ears? No mouse ears. Well… Yeah mace ears. Keep your weapons where everyone can see them. This piece of headgear is a mace-terpiece. Forget the space race, the mace race is where it’s at and these ears are winning. Why swing a mace when you can just put it on your head and charge at someone like a bull. Sounds good to me. I’ll get the red cape and meet you in the arena. Just don’t hit me in the butt with your mace horns.