Author: Artemis Winterford

Crazy Dollhouse Miniature Halloween Food

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dollhouse halloween food
Etsy seller PiccoliSpazi makes Halloween food dishes for your dollhouse. As if you playing with dolls at your age isn’t creepy enough.*Quickly hides my Star wars action figures. You’re crazy. Why would I make Luke and Leia kiss. Never happened.* You can choose from all kinds of crazy and scary dishes like fingers, eyes, brains and more. Barbie and Ken are eating good in da neighborhood.

If I show up at your dollhouse in a costume, can I get candy from that house? Hopefully some Kit-Kats? Cool. I’ll be right over! I’ll bring Barbie’s cousin Stacy and we can play all night. So what if I know who Barbie’s cousin is. I’m still manly. Kinda.
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Mummified Sorceress Demon

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fairy mummy skeleton cabinet of curiosity
Nothing to see here. Just your everyday Mummified Sorceress Demon with a snake body. That’s some shizz out of nightmares right there. Not sure if it’s a sorcerer or sorceress. The seller says both. Even after a long talk with Bruce Jenner, he/she can’t figure it out. A dress would certainly de-ugly it some.

Mummified sorcerer on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all? No, it isn’t you, so don’t even say it. We both know that isn’t true.

The seller says that this thing kills fairies and can also be dangerous to humans.

His skin oozes a powerful venom and it is also equipped with a DART! It has 2 pairs of arms which one that can turn into wings if necessary.

Whatevs. My skin oozes powerful BO and I got lawn darts. Dude, you are nasty looking.

Burning Witch Stained Glass Fire Place Screen

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Burning Witch Stained Glass Fire Place Screen
Check out this Burning Witch Stained Glass Fire Place Screen. That witch is burning like a marshmallow at a boy scout campfire. Dude on the left is just warming his hands, while pilgrim preacher dude has his eyes closed like “Damn, I love the smell of burning witch in the morning.” Dude on the right is like, “Whatevs. If you didn’t want to be burned as witch, you shouldn’t a won the local chicken egg lottery with your devil powers. Also you sew too straight. That ain’t natural! You get what you get girl.”

Yeah. This will make a lovely piece of art in your home. I’m sure it’s very calming.

Post Apocalyptic Skirt And Top

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Post Apocalyptic Skirt And Top
If you want to roll with me in the apocalypse as I drive my souped up golf cart, you better dress the part. You need a Post Apocalyptic Skirt And Top. *Becomes a blurry cyclone racing around you* There, that’s better. Now you’re looking awesome.

Get in. I have a lead on a run-down grocery store that may have a single pack of Twinkies left on aisle 5. Then I gotta battle like 50 dudes in mohawks while zooming down Fury Road. I call it that cuz it’s full of potholes. Makes me furious!

M & M’s All Dressed Up Sculpture

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M & M's All Dressed Up Sculpture
These m&m’s are going out on the town. They’re all dressed up with no where to go. Therefore they belong in my mouth. But sadly they would break my teeth since they are a bronze sculpture. A limited edition of 75.

They melt in your mouth, not in their suits! Limited edition? Puh-leaze! I’ve dressed up plenty of m&m’s in my day. *Points to m&m civil war diorama, where North and South(Peanut m&m’s) wage a chocolaty battle for the nation.* Shhhhh. Keep your voice down. They startle easy. They’re all shell shocked. War is hell man.