Author: Artemis Winterford

Medical Dental Dummy

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Medical Dental Dummy
Ummm, no. Just no. The seller says that this Medical Dental Dummy was used at a college in Los Altos Hills, California as a practice patient for dental students. Care to guess how many suicides took place there? I have no idea, but I would have taken one look at this thing and tossed myself out the nearest window. And if I landed on the grass to find out I was on the first floor? I would have ran back inside and taken the elevator to the top and done it again.

Check out a close up of the teeth in the second pic below. Kids got some choppers. He looks stoned as hell. Like, “Dude, just do whatever. I am so baked. Let me help you learn dentistry bra!”
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Monster Choker Necklace

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Monster Choker Necklace
Hey, check out my choker! Does that sound dirty? Sorry. I mean my Monster Choker Necklace. Really though, check it out. Go ahead and unzip it. Go on. Hey, why are you running away? I guess some people just don’t appreciate fashion.

Check this out.*Puts a hot dog in there. zips it back up. Unzips it a minute later.* See? Gone. Thing is hungry as hell. I fed it some Skittles and onion rings earlier too. Problem is I have to brush ’em every night or they get even nastier. It’s a real pain.

Housewares With The Souls Of Babies Trapped Inside

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Housewares With The Souls Of Babies Trapped Inside
How’s your tea? Oh you know, screaming and tormented. How’s your soup? Screaming in agony apparently. Just the way I like it. SusanKniffinDavidson makes all kinds of kitchen and home items that look like the souls of babies are trapped inside. Like many a marriage and a dentist chair, they are screaming to get out.

The cups turn hot chocolate into “hot as hell and tormented chocolate”. The bowls make every bowl of soup a “Cup o Hades”.
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Jewel Beetle Wings Finger Tip Ring Set

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Jewel Beetle Tip Ring Set
Ladies and gentlemen. The Beetles! *Crowd goes wild.* Replace your nails with beetle wings finger tip rings. Why not? You’ll look like Witch and real witches use beetle wings. Real witches also get houses thrown on them thanks to a girl named Dorothy. So look out for that.

Did you know, if you say beetle wings three time real fast, a beetle will appear. It’s either going to be Paul or Ringo. You feeling lucky?
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Walking Spider Eyeball

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Walking Eyeball Spider
If the Illuminati has spy equipment and you know they do, this is what it would look like. When it’s masters aren’t keeping tabs on the likes of Jay-Z and Lady Gaga, this thing probably wonders into your home to keep it’s eye on you. All because you typed something weird into a search engine. It happened to me, it can happen to you. Hey, I’m a blogger. My search history is supposed to be weird. What’s your excuse?

I bet they named it something cool like Iris. Who do you think taught this Walking Spider Eyeball it’s trade? I have no idea, but it was a good pupil. Are these jokes corny-a? Going now.