It’s the cast of your favorite sitcom. From hell. These Creepy See-Through Masks make anyone look like a killer or at best just a deranged psychopath dressed like Steve Jobs. They know I’m talking about them. Now they are looking at me! Now they are looking at you!
I’m just gonna head out while their attention is on you. Laterz. Have fun with your new friends!
I love this Anatomical Sleeping Bag, but I toss and turn a lot, so I’m afraid of punching my kidneys and kicking my intestines all night long. On the other hand this might be a helpful diagram for those nights when aliens abduct you. You can’t sue those dudes for malpractice.
It is literally a body bag. I hope it buzzes when they touch it with tweezers. That damn funny bone always gets you.
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What the? A Hellraiser box. Damn, you raised hell on yourself son! Hellraiser fail! You supposed to raise hell on other people. Now look at you, with your weird jewelry, feeding tube and pins stuck into your face. Congratulations on splitting your head open too. Even your butt is full of pins and stickin’ out the side!
You got problems homie!
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Troop 241 better put their heads between their legs and kiss their butts goodbye. They probably did exactly that. We only know what happened because of this Weird Boy Scout Painting, which was likely painted by some nerd trying to earn his artist merit badge while ghosts and f***ing UFOs attack in the woods. Even the trees are alive and pissed!
I would be pissed too if a group of mustached and O-Faced thirty years-olds dressed as boy scouts set up camp in my woods too. Losers! Why are you all warming your feet when it’s not even winter????
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Octopus is a pretty popular decor choice this season. Despite the fact that this Octopus Chandelier looks like it is pooping a glowing orb that will gently fall through the air and land on your dining room table, exploding in a fiery mushroom. That probably won’t happen, but you never know. I farted too close to an electrical outlet once while preparing a chicken dinner and had the pants burned off of me in a flash.
You try explaining how standing buck naked inside a circle of ash that used to be your jeans and holding a chicken, is not in fact some dark ritual. All you can really do is step out of the circle and continue preparing the meal. As dignified as possible.
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