Bring home Dr. Dreidel and add some hip hop to your Hanukkah. This dreidel is laser etched with images of Dr. Dre on all 4 sides. Spin it up. $5 says it lands on young Dre with gun. Damn! This is a profitable Hanukkah! Sadly, the Dr. Dreidel is just a concept, but maybe one day we can buy one.
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Author: Artemis Winterford
Pee Wee Herman Winking Eye Shoulder Bag
Looks like Pee Wee Herman is endorsing fashion accessories now. Like this Winking Shoulder Bag. Hey, I think your bag has something in it’s eye. It keeps winking at me.
If Big Brother or the Illuminati had spying fashion accessories, this is basically what it would look like. It would be all like, “Yeah I just saw you tear up that parking ticket.” And then a bunch of drones would come and carry you off to prison. Is that the life you want Pee Wee?
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Men’s Hairy Belly Ugly Christmas Sweater T-Shirt
Why go through the trouble of shopping for an actual Christmas sweater when you can buy this one? Besides, who wants a festive Christmas sweater full of reindeer and trees and Santas, when you can have one that makes you look like a fat hairy guy who just woke up from a weekend bender and has to get to their Santa job at the mall? It even has a bit of mistletoe above the belt buckle area.
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Skull Business Card Holder
This skull business card holder is perfect for undertakers and such. It really makes an impression and insures that they won’t just throw out your card when they leave. Nothing says repeat business like cards in a human skull.
The cards really should have a brain design though. And the person should have to reach deep into the skull to get one and get their hand all squishy and wet. See, this is why my businesses never get off the ground.
LEGO Strip Club
LEGO sets have changed since I was a kid. This custom LEGO strip club has it all for $275. A DJ, a greasy looking Chip N’ Dale looking Male stripper in bow tie and two female strippers with wads of cash everywhere.
What’s next? A LEGO crackhouse? I could never play with this set. I would be too busy throwing tiny plastic money as I twirled that stripper around the pole, then cleaning it up and taking it in the back room to count it up. I would also be spraying windex constantly and wiping everything down. Hey, if I built it, I’m technically the proprietor. Gotta take care of business. You girls get back to work or you’ll be working the Duplo club down the street!
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