Poo-Dough: Looks Like The Real Thing

poo playdough
Poo-Dough. Just like the name says, you can form this dough into an authentic looking log of poo and fool your friends. Make real looking Cleveland Steamers without the steam. Make some dookie that doesn’t make you pukey. This is Do It Yourself Doody!

You get the poo mold and brown and yellow clay. The yellow clay is to simulate the corn. It’s fun for the whole turd making family.
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Christmas Ornaments For Your Beard

beard christmas ornaments
That No Shave November really paid off. Now it’s December and I have a huge ZZ Top beard that smells like Doritos which small birds like to nest in. Imma decorate this whisker bush for Christmas thanks to Beard Baubles!

Anyone know where I can get a star for the top of my head? I’m looking for something that will turn me into a festive Manicorn. I might string some lights around those ornaments too and get a necklace full of presents.

The Anorexic Dead: Zombie Barbies

zombie barbies
Hey, it’s Barbie. The doll that spawned a thousand eating disorders. Now she’s a zombie and wants brains. Well, she has always needed a brain, she just wasn’t smart enough to know it. Now she will rip it from your dead and bleeding skull just like she did with Ken’s nut sack.

You can choose from Lindsay Nohand, Britney Speared, Messica Simpson, ZooEYE Deschanel and more. Funny thing is, Barbie is eating better as a Zombie than she ever did as an ordinary waif/trollop. If she keeps eating those brains she might actually put some meat on her bones. It would be rotting corpse meat, but still.
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Butt Ugly Light Up Christmas Sweater

butt ugly christmas sweaterEverybody is wearing their ugly Christmas sweaters, but I’m gonna do them one better and get this Butt Ugly Christmas sweater. It has some really nice detail with all of that squiggly butt-hair and those butt-zits.

This will be a hit at the family Christmas party. It will really “crack” them up. I don’t mind. I’m always the butt of their jokes.

Zombie Vs. Werewolf Socks

zombie vs werewolf socks
These Men’s Zombie Vs. Werewolf Socks are awesome. And my tootsies haven’t had a monster death match in a long time. Now fight!

Who will win? I’m putting my money on the Werewolf because that Zombie looks like he’s almost passed out from that guy’s foot stink. Who am I kidding? Everybody wins with monster socks. I’m gonna just lay around and make them fight all day. Look out! The Werewolf has a knife! Ha. I knew that long toenail would come in handy. Finish him!