Check out these Black Spiked Mouse Mace Ears. Mace ears? No mouse ears. Well… Yeah mace ears. Keep your weapons where everyone can see them. This piece of headgear is a mace-terpiece. Forget the space race, the mace race is where it’s at and these ears are winning. Why swing a mace when you can just put it on your head and charge at someone like a bull. Sounds good to me. I’ll get the red cape and meet you in the arena. Just don’t hit me in the butt with your mace horns.
Category: Creep Wear
Squid Neckties
These Squid Neckties are almost as good as wearing an actual squid around your neck. In fact they are better. Let’s count the ways.
1- They won’t choke you with their tentacles.
2- Your shirt will not be wet and smell like seaweed.
3- You won’t smell like Squid all day.
4- The ink on these ties won’t shoot in your eye.
5- You can’t hang a bunch of Squid in your closet.
6- You can’t iron and starch a Squid. You can, but the stink!
All great reasons to choose these over a real Squid tie.
Alien Couture: Cthulhu Dress
When I talk to Cthulhu I look him in the eye. And if I ever get a chance to talk to a girl wearing this Cthulhu Dress, I’m gonna look her in Cthulhu’s eyes too and compliment them. Get it? The eyes at where the boobies are. *Giggles.* You look lovely in that dress. It has awakened an ancient evil from down below, if you know what I mean. Wink wink. Nudge nudge. What I’m saying is, you have nice tentacles. I’m saying you’re a hot mess in a Cthulhu dress.
Wear these with some Kraken heels and I’m yours honey. You drive me insane. No really. It’s a short drive, but it’s full of potholes and toll roads. Let’s take tha road trip together.
Holy Valhalla: Braided Viking Hair Gown
Mary Mary quite contrary, shave that gown, it’s way too hairy! I think that’s the first time I’ve ever said a clean version of that joke. This is a Braided Viking Hair Gown. The woman wearing it must be a tough as nails viking. I don’t have viking in my ancestry. The closest I get is biking, but that’s only when the car goes in the shop.
Damn that is one hairy dress. Worn by a bald woman. No disrespect sir, I’ve never seen a viking after they shave off all of their facial hair to make a gown. Don’t kill me with your axe while shouting to your Gods and pillaging my village! We cool. We good.
Let’s have a drink! A little hair of the dog that- Sorry. Hair’s to vikings! Waiter, more beard! I mean beer. Please don’t kill me and braid my village. I mean raid! I’m all tongue-tied. My mouth is all dry and Norse. I mean horse! So sorry!
Being Stylish During Your Period: Sanitary Pad Necklace, Purse And Hair Clip
It’s not easy being stylish during your period. Am I right ladies? Well, now you can be stylish and announce to the world that your Aunt Flo is visiting at the same time. With a Sanitary Pad Necklace, Purse And Hair Clip. Sanitary pads, they aren’t just for, you know. They’re for fashion. Grouchy, touchy, bitchy fashion. Here have a Snickers bar. You’re a diva when you are having your-
SHUT UP YOU PIECE OF S**T MAN BLOGGER!
*Dodges shoe* Look, all I’m saying is it’s not an easy time for you. Can I rub your feet? Maybe just-
I WILL RUB YOUR LIFE OUT!
I knew this was a bad idea. Look, wear these period accessories or not. I don’t care. I know you want to kill all men right now, but keep one thing in mind. You can’t spell menstruation without men.
TIME TO DIE!
Laterz peeps. Gonna try to lure her away with some chocolates and a pint of ice cream.