Category: Creep Wear

Glow-In-The-Dark Solar System Womens Bikini Underwear

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glow in the dark underwear
Undies. The final frontier. I’m talking Glow-in-the-Dark Solar System Underwear. Hey girl, I’ll let you orbit around my Venus if you let me circle around Uranus! No? That’s cool. I like you, you got a way about you. A “milky way”. *Leans back. Looks cool.* Wanna go for a ride? In my Saturn? No again? Too bad. You really have my mercury rising.

Etsy seller makeitgoodpdx offers all kinds of Glow-in-the-Dark underwear for men and women. Let’s all wear them tonight and go outside at an agreed upon time. Because it’s all about making the Star Trek, not the Star Wars.

Assortment Of Collars, Bow Ties And Neckties For Your Dog Or Cat

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neck tie collars for pets
Let’s say your dog has an important business meeting. You can’t just send him to the office in his flea collar and expect him to land that important account. You have to dress him for success and give him a neck tie. That’s where this set of Dog/Cat Neck ties come in handy.

Your dog will look confident, so he will be confident. Would you rather have your dog Known as Don Draper or Don Drooper? Worse yet, Don Dripper. The boss will be so impressed he might even throw him a bone or let him hump the leg of the office couch. It’s a dog eat dog world.
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The Shining Inspired Latex Dress

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The Shining Latex Dress
This shiny and tight latex dress was inspired by those twins from The Shining. You know, from that scene where the kid is all riding his big wheel through the hotel and he suddenly sees the scary twin ghosts just standing there. Then the murder scenes start flashing before his eyes. “Come play with us Danny!” That’s some scary shizz.

I have never been able to ride my big wheel since. Mostly cuz I’m adult and got too fat. And since I don’t have the confidence to approach women when not on my big wheel, well, I’m forever alone. Thanks Stanley Kubrick!

Passover Plague Masks: One Holiday, Ten Plagues

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plague masks
Not to get all History channel here, but this requires some explanation. Basically the Pharaoh refused to let Moses’ people go so God sent a series of plagues upon the Egyptians. Not sure what his excuse was for those STDs he smited me with last year, but whatevs. These Passover Plague Masks represent the ten plagues. Sounds like a ton of fun.

Passover Plague Masks. Your child can choose from boils,wild animals,locusts,lice, firstborn, cattle plague, frogs,darkness, blood and hail. I call Locusts. I already have the boils on my butt and I’m pretty sure I have lice thanks to that thrift store hat I scored for a buck. More like 20 bucks since I had to buy that special shampoo. You live, you learn, you itch.

Latex Tentacle Dress

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etsy tentacle dress
If you have a thing for tentacles, feast your eyes on this Latex Tentacle Dress. Eh! Tentacles are for suckers! See what I did there? *It’s not really a joke if you have to explain it* Shut up or I’ll have Madame Octopus shoot you full of ink. *I had an inkling you might say that* Stop it, you’re stealing my thunder. The meds were supposed to silence you.

What’s Kraken m’lady? You look like a James Bond Villain in that dress. I’d like to be…under the sea…In an Octopuses garden…With you. Maybe have a picnic, eat an Octo-pie together. Heh Heh. Octopi. Hey just because you have eight arms doesn’t mean you get every slice! Back off sucker-arms!