Category: Creep Wear

Rorschach Mask With Real Moving Inkblots

Artemis Winterford5 Comments

rorschach mask with real moving inkblots
This Rorschach mask, based on Rorschach from the Watchmen movie/comic is pretty amazing. And not just because I see a butterfly. Wait, no, I see two dragons with graduation hats fighting. It’s amazing because it is made with fabric paint that is temperature sensitive as well as safe and non toxic. In other words, those designs on the mask ACTUALLY MOVE! And it makes me freak out, because I don’t know what to tell my shrink that I see now. Don’t look unless you want nightmares!

It’s bat wings. It’s a KISS band member whose face is melting. It’s a clown with antlers!
Check out a video here.

Rhino Hoof Boots

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rhino hoof boots
These Rhino Hoof Boots make anyone look like Hillary Clinton. Dang! Did he just say that? Bang! Zing! Burn! Well leggo my Eggo and yankle my cankle! Thems some big hoofs! The seller says they were originally made for a Rocksteady costume, (You know, the rhinoceros guy from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles) but I guess even he was like, “Yeah, too Hillary for me. Can we slim things up a bit?”

You know now that I see them in mom jeans, they don’t look so bad. I’ve seen far worse. Of course, I worked with elephants for a year.

Did you run away and join the circus?

No way. Talking about that time I worked for Jenny Craig, passing out flyers.

That’s mean!

Tell me about it. Took me a whole year to actually read those flyers. They had a picture of me with the caption, “Do NOT feed this man!” Hurtful! That also explained why I never got paid and why I had to buy my own meals only from them and talk about why I eat my feelings.

Thanks a lot mom. “Oh I talked to some people and got a job for you.”, she said. “They have a very strict eating policy.”, she said. “Just company rules.”

I’m out. Gotta go stuff it all deep down inside. Under a hot apple pie.

Awesome Alien Embroidered Patches

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alien embroidery
Are you a member of the mile high club? Let me ask a different way. Have you had an energy beam capture you and suck you up into the mothership, only to find yourself bent over a cold exam table and getting what those in the E.T. industry like to call “the business”? If you have, then yeah, you’re a member. Put some cream on that thing and get yourself some kick-butt alien patches from this Etsy shop.

These are for members only. They’re pretty funny. There’s an alien with a human head trophy, Jesus, an E.T. reading a “meat” recipe book with a human on the cover and one wearing a human for a scarf. These are gonna look sweet on that denim jacket I’ve been saving for when such things make a comeback. I think the time is right.
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Monster Neckties

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monster neck tie
It takes a certain kind of weird monster to wear a suit and tie everyday and grovel to the man from behind a desk, while whiling the time away and earning that sweet cheddar. It’s not for me. In fact most days, pants and a shirt isn’t even for me. Oddly enough, footy Pokemon pajamas are for me. Like everyday. Ewww. That smell. But they’re so comfy.

Anyway, if you have to wear a tie everyday, try one of these monster ties from Etsy seller tiestory. I’m gonna wear two at once and make it a Creature Double Feature.
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Roadkill Bunny Rabbit Costume

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roadkill bunny costume
This Roadkill Bunny Rabbit Costume begs the question, why did the bunny cross the street? To get to the other side. Get it? The other side? As in the afterlife. Now you can be a roadkill rabbit this Halloween. Complete with blood and gross entrails sticking out everywhere.

Why wait until Halloween? I’m gonna wear this and lay on my neighbor’s lawn next Easter. That way those neighbor kids will know that the bunny died for their sins.
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