I’m rubber, you’re glue. Whatever you say bounces off of me and sticks to you. Which is good for you since then you’ll have an awesome gooey glue corset to wear. Remember being a kid and putting glue all over your hands? Letting it dry and then peeling it off like you were a lizard shedding it’s skin? Maybe that was just me. I was a special kid. I spent hours peeling that junk off while flicking my tongue and hissing. Needless to say, snakeboy never lasted long at any one school.
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Category: Creep Wear
Monster Face Ear Muffs
What? Say it again, louder! I can’t hear you over these monsters growling in my ears! When they aren’t growling they are making chewing noises. Put a monster face on each ear with these monster ear muffs. Monster fur has been known to keep your ears toasty as a Pop Tart.
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They Look How They Feel: Bloody High Heels
Women look great in high heels, but I bet they feel like torture. The things women go through to look good for men. Seriously ladies, we don’t need all of that. Just cook us a meal, clean up the place while we play video games and try not to talk too much about your day. Really we–
Update: Wife was watching me type and totally smacked the s**t out of me. My face is gonna look like keyboard for a few hours since I faceplanted myself into my laptop on the floor. She also handcuffed me to the toilet and left a note.(Yes I was typing on the toilet. Problem?)
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Maggot Infested Choker, Because…Why Not?
This maggot infested choker makes quite the fashion statement. That statement is, “Someone slashed my throat and now I have these maggots crawling all over my wound. No worries.” The only thing it is missing are a couple of aggressive flies buzzing about.
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The Ultimate In Bird Stalking: Hummingbird Feeder Hat
You want to be in the Bird watching hall of fame? Are you a bird watcher who is near sighted? Do you have what it takes to sit calmly and quietly and wait for your prey to land right in front of your face? Only to fly away because of your horrible garlic breath? Yeah, that garlic bread was not a good idea. If you answered yes to any of these questions, then you need this Hummingbird feeder hat my friend.
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