Skull Bedding: Sleep Like The Dead

Skull Bedding Sleep Like The Dead
Check out this cool Skull Bedding. It’s perfect for that big sleep. For sleeping like the dead. For taking a dirt nap. Nah. You’ll be very alive and oh so comfy in this bedding. It has a beautiful design that features a skull and flowers. You put this on your bed and you have a Skully Posturepedic bed. Get it? Put your bones in this bone bedding and you can even bone in it. I’m sorry, that was crude. I should have said shag. No, that’s carpeting. Now I confused myself. F***ing, that’s what I meant!

I have an urge to mess the bed. That didn’t sound right. I mean mess up that pretty bed, by making a blanket fort and calling it Castle Greyskull. It’s gonna be awesome. It already has the cool skull.

Black Widow Spider Glasses

Black Widow Spider Glasses
Widows are the worst, all sex starved and groping you all the time cuz you’re a man and they need some sweet lovin’, but enough about my short career as a gigolo at a retirement community. These Black Widow Spider Glasses reminded me how grabby those blue haired ladies were.

These glasses are bad-ass, showing the deadly black widow in several poses like it’s a sexy spider calendar or something. I don’t blame male spiders for falling for the black widow’s tricks. I mean, ya see an hour glass on their back, you just figure it’s a tramp stamp. You figure it means she’s up for about an hour of fun and that’s it. Hell, that’s 59 minutes and 30 seconds more than I need.

But no, it means death. *Sad face*

T-Rex Dinosaur Candlesticks

T-Rex Dinosaur Candlesticks
T-Rex Dinosaur Candlesticks. This dinosaur lighting accessory will provide a Jurassic spark to any room. He he he. Jurassic spark. They are made with repurposed painted plastic toys, making them awesome. They look like major awards that you could win for being the coolest dinosaur ever. Which is why I have so many.

Every year a paint a dinosaur gold, walk down my own red carpet, present one to myself and give a teary eyed speech. This year was special. I sawed a donkey in half, spray painted the butt-end gold and gave my self “The ultimate half-ass award” cuz I never do anything all the way.

Universal Monster Postcards

Universal Monster Postcards
Send some monster mail with these Universal Monster Postcards. Cuz you know, monsters are universal. No, really. They are everywhere in the universe. Like Jesus. Even on Mars. I’ve seen the mummies on Mars and let me tell you, they don’t stop until you are dead. Never saw the Invisible Man though. Duh.

Anyway, these postcards are pretty cute representations of the Universal Monsters. All eight are here. Each card is full color and shows these horror icons in humorous scenes. Do you even snail mail bro?

Do the monster mash while sending some monster mail.

H.P. Lovecraft Bust

H.P. Lovecraft Bust
This H.P. Lovecraft Bust is pretty busty. I mean, not as busty as that lady I accidentally bumped into at the supermarket, who saved my life with her giant bazoomba airbags but still. This bust will look good in your home. Maybe you can use it on that altar where you try and summon Cthulhu every night. Yeah, I know what you get up to when I’m not around. That’s dangerous bidness peeps.

Funny story. I once tried to do the same thing. I was all like, “May the many tentacle-headed beast rise again and cleanse the world in blood and fire!” It took me a week to get rid of Predator AND Evil Bob Marley. Apparently the other side heard tentacle-headed and thought that meant dreadlocks. I need to be more specific.