Category: Geeky Cool Stuff

Dinosaur Fossil Coasters

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Dinosaur Fossil Coasters
People often say to me, “Shut up you old fossil” or “Who dug up that old fossil?” By people, I mean kids. I usually just shake my fist and mutter. Like it’s my fault that male pattern baldness and lady hips magically appeared on my 18th birthday. I’m from the GMO generation. My endocrines disrupted like it was a party up in here and it’s ladies night! Oh what a night! 30 is the new “Holy f**k it’s coffin buying time.” I got the cheapest option with the brass handles BTW. Just in case you want to know.

Anyway, these dinosaur fossil coasters are friggin’ awesome. No bones about it. If I wasn’t already using fast food napkins, I’d be on these in a heartbeat. These is classy. Enjoy them before you’re 30.
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T-Rex Paper Mask

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T-Rex Paper Mask
Make your own T-Rex Paper Mask and look all scary. You’ll have to provide your own stubby little arms.

Speaking of stubby little arms, T-Rex dinosaurs are terrible boxers. No reach. The whole match is like one long violent hug that never quite connects. Which explains why Universal never bought my script “Jurassic Punch”. That was a pretty big plot-hole. You live, you learn.
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Time Machines: I’m Going Back To The Future

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Time Machines I'm Going Back To The Future
Roads? Where we’re going we don’t need roads. But that’s just cuz I like to drive on the dirt side of the road. I think of myself as a ditch finder. I hit it so you don’t have to. I do it for the community. In fact, the local cops used to call me the Deuce of Hazard cuz it never looks cool and is always lame. When I found out what that meant, I laughed. Then cried. I’ll show them all when I buy one of Harveygallery’s time machines.

First I’m going back to 1984 when I was 4 pants sizes smaller. Gonna warn myself about the dangers of overeating so it changes the “Now Me” into a thin dude. Then the “Now Me” is gonna pig out and I won’t gain any weight cuz that 1984 sucker did all the work already. I’m gonna chill and enjoy being one of the “not fat” people for awhile, then zip off to the future where I find “Jabba the me” has finally porked out. Then I’m just gonna give up and we can pig out together and shoot the crap. Time machines are sweet!
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Legends of Cthulhu Necronomicon Collector Set

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Legends of Cthulhu Necronomicon Collector Set
This Legends of Cthulhu Necronomicon Collector Set is truly legendary. Not legend-dairy, cuz that just means some kind of cow superhero. I think. Anyway, if you like Cthulhu, you’ll love this set. *Blogging like a DJ today in my shiny jacket and headphones, going all Wricka-Wricka and Erra Erra, puttin’ a match to my scratch and blown’ shizz up* Put your tentacles in the air like ya just don’t care and give it up for my main man Cthulhu and check check check this Necronomicon Box!

Like eldritch horrors? Well, inside of this box you’ll find a Welcome Letter from the Professor and the ‘Society of Cthulhu Investigators,’ a coloring book, an official ‘SCI’ Cthulhu ring, die-cut stickers, Cthulhu patch, and folded poster. Awesome.
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Octo Glow Lamp

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Octo Glow Lamp
Oh look an Octo Glow Lamp that looks like a relic you can worship. *Kneeling before my 8 tentacled new master.* What is thy bidding my master? *Head lights up as it communicates with my mind and puts me in a trance.* Yesssss. But of course. *Returns a few minutes later with a brown M and M. Places it before him.* My offering my master.

Yessss. Of course I will buy bacon and beer in celebration of your greatness. Was gonna do that anyway. I think you and I will get along great. *Pets it’s glowing head.*