Category: Geeky Cool Stuff

Needle Felted Octopus Tentacles

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Needle Felted Octopus Tentacles
Bring the terror of the deep to your desk or coffee table with these cool Needle Felted Octopus Tentacles. It came from the deep and now you are in the deep. Caca that is. This 6 piece sculpture consists of 3 different sized tentacles and accompanying wave breaks. They look downright terrifying.

I’ll put them on my table, but if it reaches for my potato chips, I’m laying the smack down. It better not get all touchy feely on me when I’m watching TV. Just cuz you’re made of felt doesn’t mean I’m gonna get felt up. Behave.

The Ultimate Halloween Advent Calendar

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

The Ultimate Halloween Advent Calendar
That thing you have in your kitchen? That’s not an advent calendar. This is the Ultimate Halloween Advent Calendar. I gotta stop right here. Time out. I admit, I have no idea what advent calendar means, but my fifth grade education wants to say it involves adventure and time. The answer? DOCTOR WHO? Am I right? Do I get to take a ride in the TARDIS? No? Well, screw you too BBC. I would make an excellent companion. I’m leggy, elegant, always up for adventure, look great in a skirt and I can work a sonic screwdriver like a pro because it’s all about the wrist action and a confident motion when the Doctor puts it in your hand.

Uh… Is everyone as creeped out as I am right now? Yeah, I can totally see why the BBC wouldn’t choose me. I need to use words better.

Look, all I know is that it’s fun to open doors and see what the next Halloween surprise will be. Is that it? That’s what an advent calendar is? I feel kinda let down to be honest.
Read more “The Ultimate Halloween Advent Calendar”

Life Size UFO: Take Me To Your Leader

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Life Size UFO Take Me To Your Leader
Hello Earthling. This is my life size UFO, which is totally rad and stuff. Don’t touch the paint. Take me to your leader. I really need to do a number 3. Better call a hazmat team. I had space chili earlier. You know what they say about space chili. It scratches that itch, but the ride home’s a biatch.

You gonna take me to your leader or what? I just Blarted in my space suit! You don’t know what that means, but trust me on this one, back up like 20 feet and don’t approach the impending crater for 24 hours.
Read more “Life Size UFO: Take Me To Your Leader”

Zombie Apocalypse Partners Key Chains

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

zombie apocalypse partners
These Zombie Apocalypse Partners Key Chains are a must have when the undead are shambling around, with bits of skin flaking off and on a quest for brains. You’re my partner right? You mean so much to me. You’re my bestest bestie. Here, take this. It’s dangerous to go alone.

*Two weeks later after we’ve been separated.* Take that zombie. *Knife to the undead head.* Don’t ever try to hug me you undead sack of- What the-

*Looks at keychain sticking out of it’s pocket. A tear gently streams down my face*

Nightmare Before Christmas Violins

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Nightmare Before Christmas Violins
Etsy seller ChildatHeartPainter makes all kinds of cool Tim Burton inspired violins and guitars and stuff. They’re pretty cool. Practice makes perfect. You ask me, practice is just the nightmare before concert.

Reminds me of that one cello concert I was dragged to once. The guy gets up on stage and he’s all like, “Ladies and gentlemen…Yo Yo Ma!” And I swear he was looking at me when he said it.

Naturally, I was all like, “The f**k? What’d you say about my ma?” Then I rushed the stage and gave him a refreshing drink. Of Hawaiian punch! See, my fists had been on vacation until now.

Just as the cops were rushing onto the stage, the other guy explained that, “No. I am Yo Yo Ma!”

“Shut up. My mom is not a yo-yo! You haven’t all had a spin! Stop saying that!” That was when the cops tasered me. I hate classical music.
Read more “Nightmare Before Christmas Violins”