Aren’t you a cute wittle My Little Pony Alien Xenomorph. Who’s the cutest wutest wittle awein? I got your nose! Yes I did. I got your nose! ARRRRGHHHHH! It took a finger!
I should have got a Facehugger! At least it hugs you while it kills you! Bad Xenomorph. Bad! I would point at you while I say that, but I have no finger! Who the hell are you, anyway? Rainbow Slash? To Death?
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Looking for something unique in a spice rack? How about a Custom Test Tube Spice Rack? That way you can pretend you’re a scientist while seasoning your food and ruin it by putting way too much paprika in it. I hate when that happens.
Little known fact: My dad was a test tube baby, which makes me a baby from a proven tube. That tube was the boobtube. And by that I mean the TV, which did often have boobs on it. Boobs will bring you up right!
Keep dinner simple with the The Mac + Cheese Cookbook. Does your meal have mac? Check. Cheese? Check. Ok, we’re good to go. I don’t want to brag or anything, but I love mac and cheese way more than you. Let me tell you a very heartfelt story. It’s a story about a “huskie” boy and a tree in the forest.
See, I once had a special tree where I would play imagination games. My favorite was the game were I pretended that other kids wanted to play with me, but that didn’t last long because ADD. And imagination only stretches so far when you are alone and the other kids don’t want you around. I found a special tree and whispered to it of my love of mac and cheese. It’s limbs gently bent in an unseen wind and it magically whispered back. “No climbing me fatty.”
Why you worm ridden piece of filth, I hope you get bark-rot! So I took out my pocket knife and listened to the magical wind that was it’s voice scream as I carved a symbol deep into it’s bark. The symbol was a circle and inside, I had carved. “I Love mac and cheese!”
Then as I stood back, it was as if the tree shivered in the breeze, shuddering in fear. I said, “Don’t you forget it. And one more thing. I ain’t fat. Just “huskie”!
Ah memories of youth. In my life, I’ve had like 3 trees fall and nearly kill me. Have no idea why.
I’m working on a script called Jurassic Parks and Rec. It’s about a bunch of dinosaurs working for local government, trying to figure out the best way to deal with extinction level events. That really has nothing to do with these awesome Steel Dinosaur Skull T-Rex Metal Desk Organizers. Just figured I’d toot my own horn a little. *Wiggles thumb and pinky* Call me Hollywood.
These T-Rex skull organizers are sweet! They make your desk look like a rugged manly man works there. And I say that knowing full well that it takes a lot to counter that limited edition Rainbow Dash figure I have on my desk now. With the Rainbow Brite post-it notes.
*Picks up guitar and starts pluckin’ all twangy and southern. Sings.*
Well I prefer hobbits to Lorena Bobbitts.
Yes I prefer Hobbits to Lorena Bobbitts.
I don’t need no Frodo
slicing up my scroto.
Don’t need no Lady Bilbo
cutting off their own *beep*
It rhymes with Bilbo. Heh heh. Well, that’s all I have so far, but I’m hoping to get the final track included in the next epic 9 hour nerd-fest. I just wanted to pop in and say how cool these Hobbit Hole Playhouse Kits are. They come from Etsy seller Hobbitholes. There’s plenty of room inside for a nerd and a cat. *So basically, you’re house hunting?* Oh har de har har. Aren’t you a barrel of laughs. But seriously, do you think I can swing the mortgage on this baby? I have a down payment of a half eaten pack of Rolos and some Starburst wrappers.
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