Category: Just Plain Weird

Crocheted Cowburger Amigurumi

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

crocheted cow burger
This cowburger amigurumi looks delicious. He’s on a sesame seed bun and everything. He even has a nice blanket of cheese on top, oozing over him and keeping him warm. I’d eat this guy in one bite. In fact, I’m pretty sure you can get this from Burger King’s secret menu. Just ask for “the whole moo-moo”. You’ll hear some moans and screams as it is being turn away from it’s mother, followed by a thud as it is slapped down into the bun.

Hold him tight and don’t let him escape by jiggling those buns. On the plus side, he makes his own secret sauce. Ewww!
Read more “Crocheted Cowburger Amigurumi”

Puking Dog Toothpaste Dispenser

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

dog puke toothpaste
Dog puke. What can you do? At least they don’t sit there and retch all day like cats. They get it over with quick cause they have stuff to do. Thanks to this puking dog toothpaste cap, you can combine all the awesomeness of a puking dog with brushing your teeth. And your mouth won’t even smell like dog puke afterward.

He is an amazing dog that pukes sparkly and white magic all over your toothbrush. Ha! Harry Potter had a lame owl, but I got this. Suck it Harry Potter! My magic is better then yours. What? Sure I’ll have a jelly bean. Ew, that’s nasty! That was booger flavored. I hate you Harry! I hate you! *breaks down and cries like a baby* Have to go. It’s nappy time and I’m grumpy.

Just Another Pot Head

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

pot head
This is a Pot Head. This is also your brain while looking at a Pot Head.*Cracks an egg and fries it* It is the creation of Etsy seller museumofwonder, which is impressive. Because most people have to give birth to a Pot Head and let him ferment until his teen years when he starts experimenting. That’s what my parents did anyway.

Stupid Pot Head! Every time I try to cook in you, the food drips out of your mouth and nose like you’re listening to Pink Floyd and drooling. I wouldn’t care so much, except it usually starts a fire.

Inflatable Hail Protector Is A Condom For Your Car

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

inflatable hail car protector
Stuff like hail and rain and falling frogs and such will hurt your car’s exterior. If you want to protect your finish, you better get an Inflatable Hail Protector. Or as I like to call it, a car condom. You protect your crotch junk with one, so put one on your car.

The hail protector makes your car look like a blimp. It inflates with air so your windshield and paint job will be safe and sound from hail and other stuff. And it won’t get your garage pregnant either. Because there’s nothing worse then waking up in the morning and finding an extra tiny car in the garage. Protection people.

This Is Why You’re Fat: Car French Fry Holder

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

french fry holder
Why stop eating french fries just because you are driving? Texting and driving? That’s just crazy. But eating fries and driving is no problem apparently. Guys, if I get into a car accident and I see fries flying everywhere, I’m gonna know why you crashed into me. Because you have a Car French fry holder and were stuffing your face. And I’m gonna use it as evidence in court to make the judge send your french fry loving and driving butt to Jenny Craig.

And as we are comparing insurance info, don’t try to claim that the fries that flew into my car are yours. They’re not. And you don’t need ’em tubby!