Category: Just Plain Weird

eYe2eYe: Look Like Magneto, Feed Hummingbirds On Your Face

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hummingbird feeder
If you want to watch hummingbirds from up close just feed them on your face with the eYe2eYe Wearable Hummingbird Feeder. This full-face helmet makes you look like Magneto, except instead of attracting metal you will be attracting tiny birds that suck on sugar water and poop on your shoes.

This wearable bird feeder has a feeding tube between the eye holes, so you better hope they stay on target. They’ll peck your eye out kid! After a week of feeding birds you’ll be permanently cross-eyed.
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Headless Teddy Bear Lamp

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

teddy bear lampThis is the latest in decapitated teddy bear decor for your kids room. It connects via USB with plug adapters and gives off a soft warm glow that is sure to give your little one nightmares.

Every night your little bundle of nerves will wake up screaming and you will rush in the room to find a new decapitated stuffed animal from his collection. You’ll ask him about it and he will tell you from trembling lips that they are the nightly sacrifice that his master demands. And that he is down to only one stuffed animal left on the shelf…

I should know. That boy was me. Still have that lamp. It’s why I buy stuffed animals in bulk. It’s also why my backyard is full of stuffed torsos with no heads.
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Nic Cage Raking Leaves On A Brisk October Afternoon Fragrance Oil

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nicolas cage
Now you can experience the smell of Nic Cage as he goes about his daily chores. With a goofy look on his face of course, cause that’s what Nic does. Experience the gentle scent of Nic Cage Raking Leaves On A Brisk October Afternoon.

Leaves. Crisp fall air. Deciduous woods. A black leather jacket, well-loved. Maybe the one he wore in Ghost Rider, because there’s also some Egyptian Amber in there reminiscent of some of his more, erm, peculiar character acting habits. A light musk, and just a hint of patchouli and men’s aftershave.

Wait. Nic Cage can actually use a rake? I don’t think that is very believable. However, your Nic Cage in leaf wreath label has sold me on it.

Cheesus Christ Cheese Grater

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cheesus grater
Cheesus, please deliver unto me a cheese grater worthy of your name and bearing thine image and I will grate the hell out of cheese in your name. P.S. I really love cheese Cheesus. You rock.

I deliver unto you this cheese grater in mine own image my child. It’s grate! Even if I do look like the Mona Lisa. Enjoy my son! Enjoy! Wait…you’re the Creepbay guy. Let’s see. I have you down for chronic masturbation and with the IQ of a wet paper bag. Not my best work. I have read the blog. You have much to answer for my son. Did you just fart? Who does that in my presence? I give up. You all suck! Keep the grater. I’m out. *poof*

Heh. Love scoring free stuff from Cheesus. Too easy. *Looks in mirror and screams* My chin! I mean…my balls! Noooooooooooooo!
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Alien Facehugger Dog Leash

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alien face hugger dog leash
Normally alien facehuggers impregnate you in the face so that another alien bursts out of your chest, but this Etsy seller thinks walking dogs is a much better use for them.

Just let this Alien Facehugger Dog Leash sink it’s teeth into your dog as it wraps it’s arms around your dog’s back. By the time you walk to the park, an alien head will have burst from it’s rectum in an explosion of poo, leaving you lying dead on the grass, still clutching your poo bag. NOT a good idea. No one wants to die with a poo bag in their hand.
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