These Faux Fur Wine Bottle Covers are furry and soft and they’ll make you want to cuddle your wine close and cozy up with it on cold nights. Which I do anyway. Sure I could join AA, but last time I went they just talked about cars and road safety. That’s AAA you idiot! Shut up. You’re just a sponsor locked in a closet. You ready to have that drink with me, or are you going to sleep without dinner again tonight?
You get a set of 3: Snow Leopard, Possum, and Lynx.
I see J.J. Abrahams new Star Wars is in full swing. Nice choice merging Han with a Tauntaun. Just needs Jar Jar on top whipping him forward. Now they smell bad AND shoot first. This Han Solo “HanTaun” action figure is…OK, I’m not going to pretend this is anything other than f**ked up. Those eyebrows will insure that it roams the wintry expanse of my nightmares.
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Every time I have a sandwich it ends up all over my keyboard anyway. I might as well just get this Deli Keyboard, so it all blends in and looks clean. I hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Sorry, keep meaning to vacuum the lettuce out from under the h key. I made a rap song about it.
My CAPS LOCKS are due to cold cuts,
The mess around the keyboard drives me nuts.
My Ctrl keys are hard salami,
Type real fast get a Mayonnaise tsunami.
You wanna type a letter,
Better chip away dat cheddar,
Keyboard clogged like “Damn Son”,
What you expect, I like ham son!
Shoulda bought a Dell, but instead I got a deli.
Ladies like damn son, hide that belly.
Word
Wow. I hope that guy can unlock that Saw reverse bear trap in time so it doesn’t rip his jaws open. I don’t know about you, but I’m not a fan of scary puppets that make me play games. Well, unless it’s Go Fish. Love that game. Still trying to master it though. I think I made it into the National semi finals this year. Fingers crossed. Those kindergarten kids are gonna poop themselves. No, at least some of them really will.
Anyway, this prop from the Saw movies can be yours for $400.00. It’s totally safe. Meaning it won’t rip your jaws apart, but it does weigh 5 pounds so it will be a pain in the neck.
Normally grains of sand fall in an hourglass and it usually takes about an hour. See ma, I am too smart. The Awaglass however, is some kind of strange wizard magic. It has hypnotic soapy bubbles that rise up instead of down. I’m like a level 8 sorcerer in D and D and even I don’t know how to do this. But I’m gonna mention it to my DM. If I can hypnotize creatures with bubbles and then critical hit their nads with my staff, I’m all over that biz.
Of course the last time I asked my DM for special powers, he gave me a cursed necklace that turned me into a woman. Wasn’t so bad really, cause it came with a once a month “spell of raging blood” that made dungeoneering super easy. They just put me in front and every creature ran from my verbal onslaught. The downside was later that night when the party rested. “Wait. So I’m the only female here and you want me to do what? I don’t think that’s what ‘flurry of blows’ means guys. Isn’t that a melee attack? Are you sure you checked the book? Oh, what the hell, it’s just roleplay!”
What happens in D and D, stays in D and D.
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