Women look great in high heels, but I bet they feel like torture. The things women go through to look good for men. Seriously ladies, we don’t need all of that. Just cook us a meal, clean up the place while we play video games and try not to talk too much about your day. Really we–
Update: Wife was watching me type and totally smacked the s**t out of me. My face is gonna look like keyboard for a few hours since I faceplanted myself into my laptop on the floor. She also handcuffed me to the toilet and left a note.(Yes I was typing on the toilet. Problem?)
Read more “They Look How They Feel: Bloody High Heels”
So 
This maggot infested choker makes quite the fashion statement. That statement is, “Someone slashed my throat and now I have these maggots crawling all over my wound. No worries.” The only thing it is missing are a couple of aggressive flies buzzing about.
You want to be in the Bird watching hall of fame? Are you a bird watcher who is near sighted? Do you have what it takes to sit calmly and quietly and wait for your prey to land right in front of your face? Only to fly away because of your horrible garlic breath? Yeah, that garlic bread was not a good idea. If you answered yes to any of these questions, then you need this 
Action figures are all the rage these days. Why, just the other day I was making my Batman make out with Barbie, until Robin the Dweeb wonder showed up and got all jealous. That was when Ken came in and threw a hissy fit. It all worked out though. Robin left with Ken and true love was found by all. Anyway, you know who the coolest Action Figure is? Lincoln. The man had a super cool beard and hat and he freed the slaves or something. A